Your friend is getting married. She’s thrilled. You’re thrilled for her. And she’s asked you to be a bridesmaid. It’s a happy occasion. Keep reminding yourself of that. When she’s freaking out about the cake, say it: It’s a happy occasion. When she picks out a dress that makes you look like a sick seal, say it: It’s a happy occasion.

You’ve agreed to be a bridesmaid, so it’s your job to help the bride. Sure, a year of planning may seem like a long time to be focused on your friend. And it is a long time. But, you knew this when you agreed to be a bridesmaid. So, don’t let her down. Follow these rules to being a good bridesmaid, and you might remain friends after the wedding.

Remember, it’s an honor

Be proud of yourself that you're a good enough friend to rate. Maybe you were there the first night they met. Maybe you were there the moment they fell in love. Maybe you morally supported them throughout their courtship. Maybe you're the best high school friend, the sister, the sister-in-law-to-be, or the best college friend. Maybe they just don’t have many friends and you got the position by default. Whatever the case, you're one of their closest friends and for that you should be proud.

Don’t be the bad bridesmaid

Try very hard not to be the worst of the group. Brides remember bad behavior and nothing is worse than going down in wedding lore as the person who ruined the wedding. So, put on a happy face, be agreeable, and try to help out.

If you want to know, after the fact, if you were the worst bridesmaid, here’s how you can tell. Were you asked to stand at the end of the wedding party line-up during the pictures? This is a dead give-away. This was so the photographer could easily crop you out of the portrait that will forever hang in their living room. Curious guests now ask your former friends about the wedding party. They might even remark that it’s unusual to see that there were more groomsmen than bridesmaids.