Defining Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse or domestic violence is abuse that occurs in the home. It can include physical assault, threatening with a weapon, objects being thrown, and/or verbal abuse, including yelling. While physical abuse is easier to recognize, i.e. often the victim has bruises, scars, etc., verbal abuse isn’t as easily recognizable. Some think verbal abuse equals yelling and screaming. However, verbal abuse can also take the shape of the abuser constantly criticizing the victim; taking away her self-esteem and making her feel worthless.

Appropriate/Inappropriate Behavior in the Home

Home should be a place we look forward to at the end of the day. It should be a place of security and safety. Your home should be a place where you can relax. If you feel your stomach knot up when leaving work each day, ask yourself why. Why do you feel apprehensive about going home? What causes this effect in you? Are you in an abusive relationship?

Guilt

Often the victim of domestic abuse feels guilt. She may blame herself for being battered. She may feel if she had only done this or done that, everything would have been okay and her abuser wouldn’t have reacted the way he did. Frequently it’s hard for a victim to realize that she does not deserve such cruel treatment. She needs to know that she is worthy of respect and does not have to submit to such cruel behavior. Counseling may be necessary to restore a victim’s self-esteem and self-worth.

Causes of Domestic Abuse

It’s common that abusers have come from homes filled with violence or anger. They’ve been taught that is a ‘normal’ way to handle difficult situations. However, this is no excuse to overlook or accept violent behavior. Many times an abuser believes his inappropriate behavior has solved his past problems and uses abuse to solve the problems he faces today. For those prone to abuse others, the following are causes that can trigger an episode of abuse:

• Anger
• Jealousy
• Hopelessness
• Depression
• Emotional stress
• Financial stress