“As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it.” - Mahatma Gandhi

In this day of self-help, self-improvement, and/or self-growth, one might get the idea that people do not like who they are. This group will spend billions on books, CD’s, seminars, and the like, all to change who they are. On behalf of the rest of the world, we ask that you give yourself a break.

Change is scary, so most people do not even try it, but those that do, go all out. Seemingly, normal, highly educated people will spend thousands this year in an effort to become someone else.

The question becomes what is so wrong with people that they are willing to give up their self. Let us face facts, the ones who really need the help do not read books or go to seminars. Is it possible that those who have taken up the goal of self-improvement are trying to learn to live with those who refuse all change? Alternatively, is this yet another area where Americans over indulge their egos?

Top selling self-help books give promises of being able to have the perfect body, the perfect relationship, or the perfect life. They promise change in as little as seven days for the truly dedicated seeker. However, they fail to tell the reader of the 90% failure rate of most of the programs offered. Although practical on some levels, the focus instantly moves to self, leaving little room for others. Many also give the impression that if the goal of the program is not acquired then they are not successful. It is a kind of one size fits all mentality.

Is my program self-centered?

1. Is the emphasis on personal happiness, peace, etc?

2. Are people encouraged by the “expert” to give up relationships if the other party does not agree with this new quest?

3. Does the program seem to emphasize being part of support groups or something similar?

It should be noted that for major issues, assistance should be sought; however going on a fishing expedition is a fool’s journey. People spend their life trying to constantly change themselves, instead of living their life and allowing growth to come with time and experience. The “flaws” people seem so eager to change may serve a purpose that has not presented itself yet. Further, most people know what things need to change in their life, but use self-help leaders as parents giving them permission to change.