No matter how hard you try or how optimistic you are, there is always at least one person who seems to make it their life’s ambition to get under your skin. It may be a co-worker, a friend you have had since childhood – heck, even your mother – but “we can overcome” these uncomfortable situations– you just have to know how.
You are busy working your tail off – fourteen different projects sit open on
your desktop while you dial in to the conference call and check your Blackberry
– and guess who strolls in? Ms. “I am better than you are”. You may wonder why
she makes her way into your office every day – it’s obvious you don’t have
anything in common other than you are employed by the same company – but she
does it anyway.
“Guess who was just promoted?” are the first things out of her mouth, and
you then realize she is only here to let you know that she got the job you both
had been vying for. What a friend, right?
Or, let’s say you have an acquaintance that you would rather have fall into
the cracks, but she takes time out of her “busy” schedule to dial you up and
remind you that all her dreams have come true while yours haven’t. While you
are busy working your fingers to the bone to make your way in the world, she
has to tell you all about her husband’s salary, her lavish trips, new car and –
“oh, the babysitter just arrived so I can go and spend even more money!”
Hearing from her always makes you feel so much better.
Or, finally, how about your monthly (or annual – depending on how much you
enjoy the agony) visit to mom’s. As soon as you walk in the door she is
comparing you to the neighbor’s child (“he already made partner two years out
of college but you are still working that dead end job.”), your aunt’s daughter
(“three kids and look at that figure, what happened to yours?”) or even the
butcher’s niece (“she met a nice man and settled down, the best thing she could
have done – you’re so old now, I don’t know if that will ever happen.”). And
all of that happens before dinner is on the table. It just grows bigger and
bigger until you run, screaming, for the door.
Everyone has that person (or people) who can get under their skin. This
person can zap any happiness or sense of worth that you may be feeling. But,
they can’t do it unless you let them.
Instead of falling into their trap, learn how to effectively deal with different
personality dynamics in your favor.