The Blessed Event

Did you ever notice the first thing that people do when they see a baby is try to figure out which parent or relative the child resembles? How many times have you heard: "He's got his father's nose" or "He's got his mother's chin"? Now the one thing about having a baby is not only do people tell you they look like someone else in your family they also feel the need to pass on a whole lot of information that you may or may not use.

The thing of it is you've just returned from the hospital and your small overnight case is bursting with information that the nurse gave you when you were discharged. Being sleep deprived you haven't really read a lot of the information because you're waiting until you get home. Every part of your body is sore and you're tired. Did I mention that you're tired? You are waiting until you get your baby into the "routine" that everyone has told you about. This is when you'll catch up on your reading and become a more knowledgeable parent. You know what they say about good intentions...

Three Months Later...

You're feeling a lot better. You have achieved the "routine" that your mom has told you about. It involves sleep for everyone else except you. It also involves you cooking and cleaning while the baby naps. You have chosen to skip the "pearl" of wisdom about resting when your baby does. I mean how else will you get anything done?

You are just going to sit down to have a nice hot cup of uninterrupted coffee when your well-meaning neighbor rings the doorbell. It seemed like a good idea at the time to install a specialty doorbell that played, "Welcome To My World" every time you press it but now you brace yourself to hear your baby's cry. Nothing happens. The neighbor rings the bell again. Nothing happens. You race to the door and tell the neighbor you're busy and you'll call later.

You go to the baby's carrier and look down expecting the worse. The baby is sleeping peacefully. You ask yourself what just happened? Why didn't the baby wake up? You call your mother and tell her what happened. She tells you to check for diaper pins and to see if the baby needs to be burped or fed. You tell her you'll call her back. Why can't she understand diaper pins are not a problem anymore in the world of self adhering diapers? Why would you wake your baby to feed and burp it if he's sleeping? Maybe her advice has been wrong. Quickly you consult your "baby book" that you keep for emergencies under your couch. Your finger quickly finds hearing loss. You begin to read forgetting all about your coffee.