Your life’s not so bad, but you’re still sad. Forget looking at your past and asking yourself why you feel the way you do. Instead, consider that there’s nothing wrong with you that some mental exercises couldn’t fix.
You think you’d be happier with more money, more love, more time...more, more, more. If that’s what you’re thinking, then you’re confusing pleasure with happiness. And, here’s the rub, pleasure doesn’t produce happiness. Any addict can attest to this.
So, what does make us happier? Martin E. P. Seligman, the leading psychologist in the positive psychology movement christened in 1998, is trying to figure this out. As new as it is, his movement is gaining momentum. It may be because he believes we all have the raw material, just as we are, to cultivate a happier life. Now, that seems promising.
Just as You Are
The positive psychology movement is not about turning everyone into bubble-headed Stepford people. It is not about positive affirmations or meditation mantras. If those work for you, then great. But this is about looking at yourself closely. More specifically, it’s about looking at what’s important to you - at what gives your life meaning - at what gives you deep fulfillment.
Seligman contends that happiness is a skill that can be practiced and improved upon. So, your personality is the roadmap to your very own personal happiness. Go figure. And hey, if you’re prone to it, you may even laugh more once you start exercising your happiness triggers.
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda
Positive psychology is actually something of a misnomer. It’s really just psychology without the negative connotations. No more saying, "I should and I would if I could." Positive psychology turns the focus away from how and why things go wrong and turns to face how and why things go right.
The aim of all psychological inquiry is to find a way to live a more engaged and meaningful life. Feeling deep satisfaction and fulfilling your dreams is basically the positive way of saying you are sick of feeling cranky and unhappy.
The movement is serious science dedicated to rigorous research. Critic of the movement say it is akin to frivolous self-help advice that tells people to smile more and they’ll feel better. However, scientifically speaking, positive psychology views the development of happiness from an evolutionary standpoint. Happy people are healthier and live longer. They make better mental connections, hence they improve systems and solve problems quicker and in new ways. They have more energy for other people and contribute to the betterment of society. Certainly it's a worthy pursuit whose value will be determined over time.