Sometimes what we say is less important than how we say it.
Nonverbal communication can be a powerful tool in your social toolbox,
or a monkey wrench thrown into the gears. By learning the basic elements
of body language, you could enhance your social skills without saying a
word.
Does This Sound Familiar?
You stand near the buffet at a lively party, pretending to decide on an
appetizer but secretly working up the courage to talk to someone. You
envy how easily others seem to engage in conversation, laughing and
chatting like old friends with people they met ten minutes ago.
"What do you think of the party?" says a voice at your elbow. You
glance over your shoulder at the stranger, then quickly look down at the
table to compose a response. Not wanting to seem shy, you turn your head
back to the other guest, chin held high.
"It's great," you say, "Cheri's done a fabulous job decorating the
place, don't you think?"
"Yeah." An awkward pause. "Well, see you."
You sigh inwardly. You were polite, you didn't stumble over words, and
you asked a question in return: why do your conversations with
strangers never last beyond a few words?
The Body Speaks Its Own Language
The problem may be what you say without speaking: physical signals may
be short-circuiting your conversations. Nonverbal communication,
sometimes called "body language," is an important method of human interaction
which can send messages as strongly as our words. Experts disagree
whether nonverbal communication is an innate quality of our species or if
it is learned through contact with human society. Without dispute,
however, we can learn to recognize and control our body language to send the
nonverbal messages we want.