The idea of marrying a Russian woman has been rather popular in the last decade or so, after the breakdown of the Soviet Union and the removal of the iron curtain. Unfortunately, there are not only success stories but quite a few disaster stories connected with such relationships and marriages as well. The primary reason of those disasters is that people plunging into this endeavor are either uninformed or misinformed. They believe common stereotypes, miss obvious red flags, and find themselves scammed – or worse, married to a stranger with a questionable character. Let us try to look into it and see what an American man interested in a Russian woman needs to know.

Misconceptions and Stereotypes

First of all, I would suggest that you ask yourself a simple question: why are you thinking about marrying a Russian woman? What is it that you know about them that makes you want to have a Russian wife? Is it the idea that they are all beautiful? Feminine? Family-oriented? Submissive? With traditional values? Is it the notion that they make perfect housewives, doing everything and demanding nothing? Or do you think that she will be eternally grateful to you for saving her from her miserable existence in the FSU and therefore do anything to please you for the rest of your life?

All of the above are common stereotypes. I have heard them all many, many times. It is amazing how persistent they are, despite the fact that there are so many ex-FSU people now living in the US that you would think most of the misconceptions should have been long ago dispelled. These are “good” stereotypes, if we may call them that. There are also some “bad” ones, stating that Russian women marry Americans only for their money and green card, that they are cunning, deceptive, cheating, and are usually gone after the average two years required for permanent residence have passed.

So which ones are true? Universally, none. None of them would fit any randomly picked woman. Russian women come in all possible forms and shapes, with many different mindsets, views, and personalities. It applies to every area of life: work, housekeeping, children. There are Russian women who dream to be housewives, and there are those who cannot imagine their lives without working. Some want children, some don’t. Some will demand housekeeping chores to be equally divided, others will insist that all the chores are their job and won’t let the husband touch the dishes or laundry. The same is true about cheating or staying faithful, being sincere or going after the man’s money and green card. There are honest Russian women who want to build a happy family, and there are dishonest ones (we will talk about them more when we get to scammers).

As you see, stereotypes are not your friends. Talking to someone who knows, dates, or is married to a Russian woman and therefore has some first-hand information might be a better idea, but remember that you will only get one example of one particular woman. Whatever you hear does not mean that all Russian women are exactly like that.

The only recommendation I can give is this: if you decide to pursue a Russian woman, look for one with values and priorities similar to your own. Get to know your woman, her views, character, likes and dislikes as best as you can before marrying. Don’t assume anything. Do not expect her to be this way or that way because you heard that’s the way Russians are. Stereotypes may have some truth in them, but there is no man or woman who would fit them all.