Maybe love is full bloom and you finally met that person whom completes you; or a family member is no longer able to care for their children and you fit the bill; or the adoption process is complete and you have a new bundle of joy to care for – whatever your situation, bringing children into a new atmosphere can be a trying experience no matter what the new situation has to offer.

But, there is hope. New families can successfully transition from the new and unknown to the family unit you have always dreamed of. It just takes time, perseverance and a little elbow grease to make it work.

The beginnings of a new family.

All blended/non-traditional families begin in their own unique way. The most common circumstances in which families become families are by re-marriage, adoption or caregiver situations. No matter the situation, there are some things you should cover with your child before you change their lives forever.

As soon as possible, alert your child to the upcoming situation. This is easier for some than others – depending on the circumstances - but very important nonetheless. Be sure to cover the basics:

· What’s going on now. Explain to your child the current situation – you’ve fallen in love and that person asked you to marry them; or if you have existing children and plan to adopt, explain why you want to adopt; or if the child is a family member, explain why it is important that they come and stay with you. Being up front with your child shows him/her that you validate their position in the current and future family unit, and helps maintain an open line of communication.

• How the new situation can better everyone’s life. Explain exactly why you want to make this transition into a new family – don’t forget to mention how the situation benefits everyone involved – that can help the child decide to have a positive attitude going into the new family.

• Tell them exactly what will happen in the future. While you may not be a mind reader, you can easily explain the upcoming changes – moving into a new house shared by new people, having new people move into your existing family house or losing a member of the family (i.e. – the child’s mother or father may be leaving the current living situation). Explaining this up front prepares them for the changes soon taking place.

• How do they feel? This is probably one of the most important issues to cover. Always ask your child how they feel about the situation – it validates their concerns and helps them feel heard, which can only strengthen communication between you.