Loss is a part of life, no matter what form it takes, whether it be the loss of a family member, friend, pet, job or the breakdown of a marriage. Loss is unavoidable. Following closely on the heels of loss is the grief that is a part of both the pain but also of the healing. Grief is thought to be the emotional reaction to pain and suffering.

The Work of Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross did extensive research in the 1960’s into this topic and named what she believed to be the five stages of grief that everyone passes through after suffering a loss. Her work is still held in high esteem, some forty years later.

The publication of Dr. Ross’ first groundbreaking book in 1969 titled “On Death and Dying” called attention to the awareness of the experience of death like nothing else had before. This prolific author who wrote about dying was also often described as a “teacher of life”. She went on to write eight other books on the phenomenon of dying to help demystify a topic so often shrouded in mystery and gloom.

The Passage Through the Stages

Some people progress from one stage to another in a timely fashion and the transition is as smooth as can be expected while other sometimes “get stuck” in one of the first four stages and need help in moving onto the final stage. Only upon reaching the end of the stages can a person truly be capable of moving on with his/her life. Moving through the stages of pain and grief can be difficult and having a strong support system can make a tremendous difference in the healing process.

The Five Stages of Grief

The five stages of grief, as outlined by Dr. Kubler-Ross include denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Let’s take a closer look at each individual stage.

First Stage- Denial and Isolation

In the first stage, denial and isolation, a person denies to him or herself and to everyone around him that a loss has occurred. The person fights the reality of the situation by denying that there even is one. Often a person withdraws from his/her social activities and spends more and more time by himself. This stage can last for hours, days, and sometimes weeks, depending on the individual and the impact of the loss.