Dating again. It’s frightening. It’s unpredictable. Somehow if you’re single, you’re drawn to it….then you look in the mirror and wonder: Should I? Can I? Do I dare?

If you’re single again, you’re certainly not alone. Although it can feel very isolating and alone, half of American adults are single!

Before you try dating, it’s important to:

Wait. Most experts recommend that you wait at least six months after your relationship ends before you plan on having a steady relationship. Some recommend waiting two years. The time will vary, but if you’ve worked through all the grief, you’re on your way. If not—it’s better to wait.

Become comfortable with yourself. Can you eat out, shop, and live alone? For many singles, it takes awhile to adjust; but it’s important for your mental health. If you can’t stand being alone, you’ll probably come across as too clingy in a new relationship.

Make sure you have solid friendships. Don’t look for a love relationship as a replacement for friends; you need both. When you suddenly become single, married friends often avoid you. So before you climb on the dating merry-go-round, be sure you have good friends who will support you through your adventure. After all, you’ll probably need their feedback!

Make sure you’re over the last relationship. Nobody wants to spend the first date listening to your long list of complaints (or tears) about your ex. Worse yet is playing the blame game. That’s when you take turns telling each other how horrible your ex was to you.

Know what you’re looking for. Most people test the waters gingerly at first, and they need to be up-front about it. Others make no secret of the fact that they’re looking for a steady, long-term relationship. Be honest about what you’re looking for, even if it means you don’t get to hook up with that cute guy at the office.

Learn What to Do. Most people who haven’t dated in 10, 20, or 30 years feel awkward. They think the rules have changed—and they have! What was acceptable and right for you at 18 doesn’t work at 38. Ask other singles about their dating experiences, and listen to the answers. Does the man bring flowers? Who pays? Who asks whom? Is it okay to call? You’ll gain valuable insight by hearing others relate their stories, and you’ll be more comfortable when you decide to take the plunge yourself.

Discuss it With Your kids. Let them know you’re going out, if they’re old enough to understand. Don’t include them, though, til you know this is somebody who might stay around for awhile. Kids often get emotionally attached quickly, particularly after a divorce. There’s no need to risk their feelings, especially with someone you don’t know well.