It happens to all of us. The dreaded office party that was held our first week of work. The family reunion our girlfriend dragged us to. The dinner party hosted by some lady we barely knew.

Can't we just spend a quiet evening at home with a couple of friends?

Parties are not fun for all. For some, the idea of being in a room full of strangers, or even casual acquaintances, is one that provokes fear rather than frivolity. This article offers ways to calm nervousness.

Get Perspective

The first step to calming a fear is to recognize that you are not alone in it. At a large party there are probably dozens of people who were invited and maybe know one or two people, but will be strangers to everyone else. They likely feel the same social anxiety you do.

So when you talk to someone, they are likely too afraid of saying something stupid back to notice that you have said anything inappropriate.

We are all pretty self centered, and often we're too busy worried about how we look to notice how someone else is looking. No one is paying as much attention to you as you think they are, so get some perspective.

What to Wear

The only ways you'll draw unwanted attention at a party are if you are exceptionally attractive, exceptionally ugly, or if you are not wearing the right attire.

• Costume parties are not just for Halloween. Every party has some sort of uniform.
• If you are going to a backyard bar-b-q, it's best not to wear a tuxedo. Just wear comfortable shorts and a T-shirt.
• If you are going to a semi-casual office party, wear khakis and a short-sleeved collar shirt. Leave the tie at home.

Every party has unspoken rules about what to wear, and the closer you are to the dress code the more likely you are to blend in, which is really the best situation if you are nervous.

While it may seem tempting to wear the sort of clothing that will spark conversation, this is an extremely risky proposition. If you have a shirt or accessory that has a good story, go ahead and wear it. But do not wear an outfit that makes someone ask, "why did you come here in that?"