At last, you found the person of your dreams. You float through your days with a sigh and a smile, envisioning your storybook life together. While the gleam from that rock on your finger could down passing aircraft, certain issues, if never discussed, could put your marriage in similar danger. Before you get lost in the whirlwind of wedding plans, take the time to talk with your fiancée about the issues that could make or break your happily-ever-after.

The Apple Doesn’t Fall far From the Tree

Whether we like it or not, our families and the ways in which we were raised are the most influential factor in determining what kind of person we become. If you’re planning on tying the knot in the near future, it’s worth your time to examine both you and your partner’s family of origin. Honestly discuss with one another both the positive and negative aspects of how you were raised. It may help to keep some key questions in mind. What was your parents’ marriage like? What sorts of things were valued in your family? What things were feared? What were some of the defining moments of your childhood? What aspects of how you were raised would you like to emulate in your own family? What aspects would you like to avoid? Talking about where you’ve come from will give your future spouse deeper insight into why you are the way you are, and vice versa. It’s also a good reminder to both of you that you’re not just marrying Mr. or Ms. Right, but his or her family as well. Your fiancée may be the total package, but don’t forget that the package also includes a deadbeat brother and crazy Aunt Marge. Together, identify the strengths and weaknesses you both bring to the marriage so you can know what you’re getting into.