Cats, just like people, can be outgoing and reserved. Adaptation to a new home goes easy enough for the first type, but what if the new friend you have chosen is of a timid nature?
What makes a cat shy and timid?
Some cats are timid by nature, others have formed a shy personality because of their upbringing and life experience. If a cat has grown up in a quiet home with little or no visitors, it will be cautious around new people. I know of a cat who is fine and relaxed with its owners but runs and hides the moment anyone else comes in, and stays in the hiding place until the stranger leaves. Stray cats who have been chased or abused remember that for a long time, and it takes a lot of efforts to earn their trust. That’s why it is always easier to adopt a kitten: kittens are curious about the world, their memory is a blank page. Fill it with love and play, give them no reason to be afraid of you, and you will make a friend quickly and easily. Not so with adult cats, especially those who have been through some hard times.
Introducing yourself
Unless you are adopting a stray, you will be taking your new pet either from a shelter, a foster home, or, if the cat is purebred, from a breeder. In either case the people who have been taking care of the cat will tell you about its personality and warn you if it tends to be shy and needs a gentler approach. You will need to give it some time to get used to you. It is good to begin with petting it, or, if the cat won’t allow you to, playing with a toy. A string works best. Most cats who love playing immediately focus on the string and forget who is moving it. Some time later, the person they have been playing with will be less of a stranger.
Try not to let the cat know right away that you are taking it. It will scare them. I had made that mistake with my cat Beanie when I came to pick him up from the pet shelter. When I had entered the room, Beanie was lying on his perch and seemed perfectly at ease. He let me pet him, started purring, and even rolled over inviting me to rub his tummy. I thought we were getting along great, so I picked him up to carry him out of the kitty room to the office, where the pet carrier waited (you don’t want to let the cat see the carrier). As soon as he was in my arms, Beanie felt threatened; he broke free and ran away. My further attempts to come near him failed. He seemed to be thinking, “She is after me, I know it now!” The shelter workers could not catch him, either. I had to wait for over an hour for him to calm down enough to be tempted by some canned food and come close to me.