After a year of the “Mommy and Me” class and three years of pre-school gymnastics, your daughter has finally been asked to join the competitive team. She’s excited—you’re a nervous wreck. You’ve heard the stories about little girls starving themselves just to get a competitive edge. Lately, you’ve heard about little girls using steroids. And everybody knows how gymnastics coaches can destroy a girl’s self-esteem. So now you have to decide: do you let her join the team or try to talk her into piano lessons?Being a member of a competitive gymnastics team can be a fantastic experience for your daughter, if you follow a few simple guidelines. My daughter won her first national championship at the age of eight, and her self-esteem couldn’t be better. She’s incredibly strong (without the use of steroids) and healthy, and she certainly isn’t starving herself to death. In addition, she and her coach have a great relationship.After years of experience as a gymnastics mom, I’ve developed this six-step strategy for being a good gymnastics mom, and it seems to be working for both me and my daughter.

Leave the Coaching to the Experts

Never, ever coach your daughter. That’s the coach’s job. It’s your job to be supportive and to praise your child for working hard at practice. If she’s not working hard and then complains about losing, you can mention that she might need to focus more at practice, but don’t dwell on it. You should attend practices and observe your daughter, but don’t participate. Stay quiet! Let the coach be the bully—you need to be there to wipe the tears and kiss the bruised knees. On the other hand, don’t let her whine. Help her understand her frustration and see if you can help her find a solution to her problem. Let her know that she can talk to you, to her coach, and to her teammates. Everyone wants her to succeed, but she has to want it, too.