Avoiding Disaster

Imagine the scene: a hush falls over the crowd of well-dressed family and friends, and all eyes turn towards you. You exchange a meaningful glance with the bride and groom as you rise to your feet, clear your throat, raise your glass…and totally choke. What can you say to describe such a momentous occasion? Why didn’t you practice this before today? What made you think you could come up with something off the cuff? The groom’s grandmother waits expectantly as the champagne glass grows slippery in your palm. You gasp, you stutter, and a scant twenty seconds later you’ve floundered through something you know you’re going to regret. And it’s all on video to be preserved through the ages.

This doesn’t have to happen to you. Writing the perfect wedding toast can be simple and enjoyable if you remember a few key ideas.

Be Brief

Do keep it short. Wedding receptions are long enough without you giving a twenty-minute thesis on why the bride and groom make a great couple. Remember, wedding receptions need to have a comfortable flow from one activity to the next. People want to keep things moving, and there may be more than one toast that needs to be made. Photographers, disc jockeys, and caterers are often paid on an hourly basis, so the bride and groom may have a vested interest in your ability to be brief. Besides, the shorter your toast, the easier it will be for you to remember.

Where do you fit In

Briefly mention your connection to the couple. Have you known the bride since the fourth grade? Was the groom your roommate in college? People will want to know how you fit into the scheme of things, and your connection to the couple lends credibility to what you have to say.

Praise Both the Bride and Groom

Do include both the bride and the groom in your comments. Even though you may be much closer to one than the other, be gracious enough to mention both in a positive light. Even if you dislike one member of the couple or spent the night before the wedding desperately trying to talk your friend/sister/cousin out of the marriage, you need to be courteous to the couple. Once you’ve agreed to be the best man/maid of honor/person of importance in the wedding, you’ve also implicitly agreed to be supportive of the union. Absolutely no jokes about divorce or how long the marriage might last.