Finding out that I was pregnant brought with it many diverse emotions, not just from my husband, our friends, family and myself, but also from my 8-year-old stepson. They were not tears of joy that he shed when we first sat him down to tell him our news, but ones of concern and fear. I often remember looking back at a time when we were taking a drive to the mountains. It was before I had married his daddy, and the little blue-eyed boy had made it very clear that he was not interested in getting a sibling. I forget exactly how the conversation even came up, but he had told me that he was afraid that if I had "my own" baby, I would not need him any more. I was very touched at his claim on me and briefly tried to assure him that that would never happen. Of course at the time the subject was not relevant and therefore put aside without more ado. Needless to say, when the time actually came for us to tell him that one of his biggest fears had actually come to pass, we were more than anxious at having to break it to him. Before sitting him down, my husband and I had discussed how we were going to bring it up, and I had insisted that whatever we said, we had to keep it bright and cheerful. We had to restore our son’s confidence and reassure him that this was something we should all be thankful for. Also, in understanding how his mind worked, it was crucial that we stress how lucky he was to have a brother coming and that the baby was just as lucky to have him.

Breaking the news

When we eventually broke the news, you could see the fear in the 8 year olds eyes as he tried to maintain composure. I frantically babbled on about how much fun it would be and how the baby would look up to him, when my husband saw the child's despair and asked, "Why are you so sad?" in a tone that triggered the flood. I was a little aggravated, since I felt we were doing well keeping it positive, but then again, if he had concerns, we really needed to acknowledge and alleviate them. He really did not have much to say, but just cried more when my husband asked if he was afraid we would not love him, or that the new baby was going to replace him. Eventually we calmed him down by reiterating the joys that were to come and the responsibilities he would have as a big brother. And if we knew anything about our boy, it was that he liked to be in charge and he liked to show off, so we used that to our advantage by telling him that his brother would need him for guidance and love him so much. He was sold in no time. From then on whenever he passed me, he would say, "I can't believe you are pregnant," or "How's our baby doing?"