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A Man’s Guide to Understanding Ten Things Women Want 
by Jami Cameron June 10, 2005

Women can be very difficult to figure out - and this can drive a man crazy at times. But, there are ten tips to help men better understand what a woman wants out of a relationship, and how they can give it to them.

Men, you are our knight in shining armor, our best friend, our lover, our confidante. You are our traveling companion along life’s highway; you’ve seen us grow, change and prosper.

Without our man, we wouldn’t necessarily be a faceless, nameless woman without dreams, aspirations or drive – but life would sure be dull! However, through the years of a relationship a woman shares with a man, there are a few things that we want, and we want you to give it to us.

We’ve heard you say, “I just don’t understand women” countless times; we can be difficult beings to figure out. But, there are some things you can do to make your relationship better while understanding us a little bit more.

Number one – instead of offering solutions, just listen.

Men are problem solvers. They want to fix things to make things better for everyone, including the love of their life. But, there is a time and a place for problem solving, and you need to pay attention to when it is appropriate or not.

If a woman straight out asks you to help her find a solution – go to work! This is your chance to partner with your wife and make a difference, so take advantage of it. But, if she is telling you an issue she had at work or with the kids and doesn’t ask for your help with the matter, then you may just want to listen up.

Women have a need, a desire to be heard. This is one of the many differences between men and women; men tend to rehash daily issues in their head, decide the best way to prevent the issue from happening again, and then do it. Women, on the other hand, are much more vocal – they have to talk it out. Then we can decide how to solve the problem or prevent the issue from happening again.

Men, you know you aren’t doing a good job of listening if your woman won’t discuss things with you, and then spends hours on the phone with a girlfriend or family member. This is your clue to better hone in on your listening skills and become a sounding board for your woman. All you have to do is:

  • Look her in the eye when she is talking to you

  • After she pauses, let her know you were actively listening by saying, “so what you are telling me is…”

  • Then, if you must, ask her how she thinks she can prevent this issue from happening again or how she plans on handling it if it does arise in the future

Doing this action of listening shows you really care about what she is saying, and it even promotes her to think about how to change the situation on her own. That is the key – she needs to come up with her own solutions, not have someone tell her what to do.

More than likely, she will find her way of dealing with the things on her mind, and may even ask you to chip in on helping her make the best decision.

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