My husband and I had met on the Internet, so we are a living proof that Internet romance can be successful. I can honestly say that we are a perfect match. Yet, I am aware that there are disaster stories as well, from all kinds of shocking discoveries when two Internet daters meet in person to pure scams. With the anonymity the Internet offers, it is too easy for dishonesty to find its way into the process.

We are often asked how we succeeded, and whether it was hard to weed out the wrong people and make the right choice. Many are curious about how we handled the long distance relationship and whether it is possible to really get to know someone through letters, e-mails, and phone calls. Many ask why we had turned to the Internet to begin with. Let me try to address all these questions one by one.

Who looks for romance online and why?

I have met people who think that only losers and sex-daters look for partners on the Internet: losers go online because they cannot meet anyone “in the real life,” and sex-daters because it’s a quick way to find someone just for sex and nothing else. While both categories certainly do exist, there is also a third one, and I think it may be the largest: decent men and women who are serious about meeting their special someone and creating a family. The reason they go online is usually because they know exactly what they want in their future life partner, and they do not wish to settle for less. Call them picky; they are. They realize that with the help of the Internet they will have the whole world at their fingertips, so they are simply expanding their search. Many of these people are hard-working professionals who have little time for “regular dating,” which is another reason why they turn to the Internet. Daily e-mailing and chatting does not take that much time and yet allows, if used wisely, to get to know the other person just as well as if you were going out and spending time together.

In our case, we were both picky and busy. My husband lived in a small community where there were not many single women of the kind he would be interested in. I, on the contrary, lived in a huge city, but faced the same problem: somehow, there were not many single men around me who had the qualities I was looking for. I worked full time and overtime, leaving home at 7:00 AM and returning around 9:00 PM. My husband ran his own business and was often on the road, traveling for 3-5 days almost every week. As you see, we did not have much time for going out.