If a human being loses her job, she can get COBRA insurance and be covered if bitten by a snake.

Get real. What is COBRA insurance for?

OK, we're going to give you something to throw around at parties and really impress people. COBRA stands for Consolidated Omnibus Reconstruction Act. Pretty impressive, huh? We won't get into how a bill with that title ends up as health insurance because it's boring and because we don't know. What COBRA does is help people who have been laid off their jobs to keep their health insurance for a period of time.

Some Details About COBRA health insurance

Basically COBRA guarantees your right to continued health insurance if you lost your job through no fault of your own. If you got drunk and fell into the donut grease, you're out of luck. After you're fired, you'll have to pay for those nasty burns on your own nickle. To get COBRA you must have worked for for a company that provided health insurance. If your company didn't insure its workers, you are not eligible for COBRA.

The Nuts and Bolts of COBRA

You're a terrific worker but your company has outsourced your job to Outer Shambala. You spend the first week huddled in your bed watching "Star Trek" re-runs. The second week is spent calling the Shimbalans with questions you hope they can't answer. By the third week reality sets in and you start to worry about things like income and health insurance. You find that COBRA is offered automatically to all previously insured workers and that all insurance companies must honor it. This sounds pretty great. The catch is that you must pay the premiums. These are higher than group rates but lower than individual rates.

You can probably make your payments while on unemployment insurance by eating beans and rice. If you get another job and it doesn't provide health insurance, you can continue your COBRA for awhile. If you are covered, you must notify COBRA and that coverage ends.

Is COBRA a Lifetime Thing?

Unfortunately, no. COBRA lasts for 18 months, so if a snake bites you at month 19, you'll have to suck out the venom yourself. Some companies will allow you to convert to an individual plan and usually your premiums will be higher. Some states, California, for example, require insurance companies to offer COBRA for an additional 18 months. If all else fails, you can move to Outer Shambala and get a job there.