Have you had it with the bar scene and conventional dating? Have you decided to try to meet someone online instead? Whether you’re looking for a new friend or a committed relationship, online dating can be a good place to start. But it carries its share of dangers as well. Play it safe when you go online to meet others by following these tips.
Build an honest but anonymous profile.
When it comes to building a profile for yourself on the Internet, think carefully about what you are trying to convey. Some online dating sites contain multiple-choice questions and answers but most also have an area where you can describe yourself and what you’re looking for. Be honest and not deceptive but remain anonymous with anyone who contacts you. Remember this is very different than meeting a person face-to-face and going from there. You’re starting from a completely different point in time. Keep that in mind. Let safety guide your typing fingers!
Pick and choose carefully.
You don’t have to take the time to get to know someone online who doesn’t appeal to you or appear to be what you’re looking for. Even through reading the words of others we can pick up on certain nuances about their character, personality, values and goals. Be as picky as you would be in real time. If they’re not for you, move on.
Use caution. Trust your instincts.
If something doesn’t feel right in your online communications call it quits. Don’t let anyone bully you in cyberspace or pressure you into giving out information about yourself that you don’t want to give. If this happens, the red flags should go up. If the offending person repeatedly upsets you or makes you feel uncomfortable, even in the online world, consider bidding the person farewell. Respect and trust are the basis of any friendship or relationship, no matter where it starts.
Pick up on cues.
Elaborating on the last point, pick up on the cues of the person you are getting acquainted with. If you notice inconsistencies in his/her words or holes in the things you’re told, proceed with caution. If the other person is not willing to be honest with you, do you really want to take things any further?
Exchange photos with one another.
Photographs not only show what a person looks like but also can give you a gut feeling about the type of person you are getting (online) involved with. If the person is reluctant to provide you with a photo(s) perhaps they have something to hide. Be aware of this fact.
Have a telephone conversation.
When you are ready to move things along a little more, choose a time to talk to one another on the phone. Remember though, safety is your number one concern. It’s a good idea to block your home phone or cell phone number when you call. If or when you feel really comfortable speaking with the person only then should you reveal your number and allow the other individual to phone you.
Arrange to meet in a VERY public place.
So you’ve chatted online for a while, spoken on the phone and everything is looking good so far? Good to hear. If you’re ready to meet, arrange a time and place but be smart about it. Don’t allow the other person to pick you up at home or work. Instead arrive in your own car and leave alone. Arrange to meet in a VERY public place such as a busy coffee shop downtown. There is more safety in numbers. And always let a family member or friend know where you are going and when you expect to return home. Cover the bases and get home safely.
Learn when to say goodbye.
Some relationships in the online world can translate into serious and lasting relationships in the offline world while others cannot. Relationships take work to succeed after all. If you feel that you’re in what is amounting to a dead end relationship, learn when to call it off. Rejection is no fun for anyone at any stage of the game but neither is getting in over your head when you know nothing good will come of it.
Exercise caution and common sense when you date, whether it is in the online or offline world. Wolves in sheep’s clothing are everywhere and learning how to recognize one should be high on your list of dating don’ts. Trust yourself but have fun with your dating experiences.