Depression can often lead to thoughts of suicide in teenagers and in today’s stressful society, it is a growing problem. Depressed people who are contemplating suicide often show changes in their behavior. These changes are warning signs that should never be overlooked or ignored. They are a cry for help. If your teen shows any of the following warning signs, then by all means discuss the problems he or she is experiencing and seek help if they continue.
Signs
Obvious changes in eating or sleeping habits
Withdrawal from family and/or friends
Drug and/or alcohol abuse
Unexplained rebellious or violent behavior
Running away
Persistent boredom and/or trouble concentrating
Drastic personality change
Problems with schoolwork (i.e. unexplained drop in grades)
Sudden neglect of appearance
A preoccupation with death and anything related to it
Giving away of prized possessions
Complaints of physical problems that are not real
Talk of suicide or making a plan (even if it’s done in jest, it’s still a grave concern)
Threats
It is very common for people to threaten to kill themselves before they actually attempt it. Threats regarding suicide should never be taken lightly. People communicate their thoughts about suicide often as a way of reaching out. Most teens don’t really want to end their lives, instead they want help in coping with life, in terms of growing up, losing a boyfriend or girlfriend, dealing with family problems such as financial concerns and divorce as well as fitting in at school and coping with peer pressure. Failed suicide attempts, no matter what form they may take, must never be ignored. Most people who commit suicide made at least one previous attempt.
How to Help
Talking with your teen about what he/she is thinking and feeling and getting at the root of his/her depression is key to working toward a solution. Listen to your teen. Pay attention to every word he/she has to say. Read between the lines if necessary. It cannot be stressed enough- listening is of utmost importance. By listening you are communicating that you care and that you are there to support the other person. Don’t underestimate the role you play in helping. Feeling that another person is in their corner goes a long way in making a suicidal teen feel loved, cherished and not alone in the world. Your teen needs to feel that there is hope- hope that things will get better in time, and that there are people who are willing to listen and that she can overcome her problems.
Effective Strategies
There are many ways that parents as well as friends can helped a depressed teenager deal with their own personal situation. Below are a few of the most effective strategies:
Talk
Don’t be afraid to ask questions and be willing to really listen to what the other person has to say. Don’t dismiss your teen’s problems as unimportant or as “just a phase.” Parents and other influential adults should never laugh at or ignore a teenager’s problems or concerns, especially if they matter very much to him/her and are the source of a great deal of unhappiness.
Be honest
If you’re worried about your teen by all means let her know. You won’t encourage thoughts of suicide by asking about it. In fact it’s quite the opposite. Your actions have reinforced that you do indeed care about her welfare.
Share your personal feelings and experiences
Let your teen know about times in your own life when you’ve felt sad, discouraged or depressed. Reassure him/her that it’s perfectly normal and that everybody feels this way from time to time.
Get help for both of you (your teen and yourself)
The more serious the depression, the more difficult it becomes to handle it alone. Talk to someone you respect and trust, be it a teacher, pediatrician, counselor, member of the clergy or another trained professional. Don’t make the mistake of believing that the problem will one day just go away.
Occasional feelings of sadness and depression do come and go but in more serious cases, they can also escalate to the point where an adolescent thinks that suicide is the only way out of a bad life situation. Teens have to learn that problems can be worked through and overcome in healthy ways and that taking one’s own life is never the answer.