Have you ever noticed how views change from when we were kids anxiously waiting for Thanksgiving and Christmas to when we are adults and have to be "in charge" of making delightful memories happen for others? For so long we were offered holidays full of fun, smiles, and traditions and now suddenly we are in the position to make sure others leave the holiday season with those same memories and fuzzy feelings.

So where do we start? Are there ways to make everything run more smoothly so that we can actually hope to enjoy the holiday season ourselves? Or is the entire time period between Thanksgiving and January 2 simply a stress and anxiety magnet that cannot be avoided?

Gift Buying

Having tons of gifts to wrap all at once is one of the major stresses that many people face during the holiday season. It is also one of the easiest stresses to "fix" if you follow some basic tips or create more of your own.

1. There is no written or unwritten "law" that mandates all holiday shopping needs to start on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving! Although many people choose to wait until then, others realize that picking a few gifts up in earlier months makes a huge difference when holiday crunch time begins.
2. The same goes for wrapping presents whether or not you actually know ahead of time which gift will be matched with which recipient. Simply wrap it in holiday paper (if wrapping paper is not being sold as early as you start shopping, make sure to have some paper and bows leftover from the prior year). Put a sticky note on the gift stating what is inside the package and then it will easy to switch the tag saying "crystal gravy boat" with one saying "To: Aunt Jean" when you decide she will be the lucky beneficiary.
3. Another huge time saving and stress reducing tip for gift shopping is to use the internet for that shopping. It has become much more secure than it was in the past and you just can't beat having all those gifts being delivered to your door. Well, unless you actually enjoy crowded malls and pushy patrons, that is. Use the Google search engine and simply type in what it is that you are shopping for. Google will lead you to many stores all over the world that sell the item you wish to buy. Shopping was never easier!

Use Ebay!

This online auction powerhouse is one of the best ideas to come along since the inception of the internet. There is no end to the possible gift ideas you will be able to come up with using Ebay and shopping there can be done at any time throughout the year. Whenever you have a thought for something that would be a great gift for someone on your gift list, simply log in and check if the item is available.

Again, the only limit that exists is reached when you stop being creative with ideas on what wonderful gifts to give each person on your gift list. To serve as a jump start, maybe some of these suggestions will spark ideas.

• A magazine from the month and year someone was married many years ago
• Military medals that may have been lost over time
• Items from someone's favorite place that you wouldn't normally be able to buy. You may want to try something such as "made in Ireland" or "genuine Austrian" in the search if you can't find things other ways
• A favorite toy, doll, or book from childhood that someone has spoken of fondly
• A first edition of a favorite book
• Unique items to add to a collection the gift recipient has and most likely cannot find locally
• Something the recipient thought he or she would never see again. This might include a mood ring, a favorite 8-Track tape (only if they have a player!) or a certain lunch box they adored as a child
• Music that was popular in the year your gift receiver was born
• Retro jewelry, music, or movies
• A model of Dad or Grandpa's first car
• A copy of Mom's first cookbook

Yes, the possibilities are almost endless and it is never too early to start gathering up these exclusive and meaningful gifts for the special people in your life. You will not only be giving a well thought-out gift, but if you do this throughout the year, you will be saving yourself some holiday stress at the same time.

A few words of caution for shopping at an online auction: Be sure to read the entire listing before bidding. Make certain you know what the shipping costs will be and if the seller will ship to your area (this is most important for buying or selling outside of the US). Is there a return policy in case the item does not arrive as it was described? Just collect all the facts and don't be afraid to ask questions if something isn't clearly stated in the listing.

Cooking

Another thing that can easily turn into a huge holiday hassle is the cooking of the meals for the gatherings that always take place all throughout the holiday season. There are ways to lessen this anxiety as well; you only need to decide which of the suggestions will work for you.

First of all, make yourself believe that everything does not need to be perfect. Everything does not need to be exactly the same as it was other years, either. In prior years it probably caused a seriously high stress level or you would not need to try to de-stress the season. Streamline the menu and your guests will still have a lovely and unforgettable occasion.

As just one example of that streamlining, if you have charge of the Thanksgiving or other holiday family meal, it truly is not necessary to serve mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes. For that matter, if stuffing will be served, do you need any kind of potatoes at all?

Ask some of your guests to help out if they had not done that other years. Even a few people bringing a dessert will turn out to be a tremendous help. Perhaps one person can bring a vegetable medley and another dinner rolls. If you insist on preparing everything yourself for "traditions sake" or for whatever reason, at least decide which of the foods can be prepared the day before or often longer before and frozen. Ask for help with chopping onions and other vegetables that need to be prepared for the meal ahead of time, too. That in itself is a huge time saver.

Holiday Baking

This is an area where many people actually end up self-creating stress that would not be necessary in any way, shape, or form if precautions to prevent it would be implemented.

Some things to remember in this category include:

• Make yourself believe that your family really doesn't need 6 or 8 different kinds of cookies just because it's "cookie baking week."
• It is not healthy to fill the entire time period between Thanksgiving and New Years with cookies, cakes, pies, and candy constantly. Have some on hand to serve, of course, just do it all in moderation and there will be many benefits to your family's health as well as to your stress level.
• Try a cookie exchange with neighbors, co-workers, church members, etc. Choose one kind of cookie and make a huge batch. Then when the exchange happens, you will be bringing many other kinds of cookies home and only needed to make one kind on your own.

Hosting Parties

Many of the same "rules" apply to hosting parties as were listed for holiday meals for the family. Do what can be done ahead of time and ask others to bring a dessert are two of those things.

Consider pampering yourself for one day and have a cleaning person or team come in so that in addition to everything else you will be doing, at least you won't have to be scrubbing the house with all the other stress.

Buy pre-made appetizer trays from your deli instead of spending hours either preparing or cutting all those things up for the tray.

Don't be afraid to use paper plates and cups even if you think it wouldn't be "suitable" for the people on your guest list. Theirs won't be the hands washing all those dishes, after all. If it is important to you to have nice looking serving plates and cups, there are many companies now who make impressive decorative dinnerware that gets discarded after use.

Last, but perhaps should be listed first, is to ask yourself if you really want to host this party or these parties, or if you are just feeling obligated for some reason. Go ahead with plans only if it is something that you truly are looking forward to and will enjoy. Also remember that your co-workers and PTA friends may get along just great . . . does it really require two separate parties?

Decorating and Cards

When it comes to decorating the house for the holidays, remember that you do not need to put out every decoration you ever bought or made every single year. Decide which to bring out and the others will be fine in storage until their time to shine arrives next year. Owning five thousand twinkling outdoor lights doesn't really mean that they need to all be used every year.

When it comes to addressing Christmas cards, by all means buy your cards as soon as they are put out into the store (or better yet, buy them earlier online!) and get them addressed. Don't seal them, however, in case you will want to add a letter or personal note when it is time to mail cards. Writing those letters will be much less stressful if the cards are already signed and addressed early.

Last words . . .

Holidays, just because we have turned into adults, do not need to be a time of stress. You will be surprised to find yourself once again looking forward to "the big day" if you have taken steps to de-stress the season as much as possible in advance.

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or some other holiday, there is enough stress in normal everyday life without adding to it by your own choices.

Perhaps the most important thing to remember: Nothing needs to be perfect! Take the time that you may have used in past years to strive for that illusive perfection and use it instead for reflecting on what the season and your family means to you. Plan to give yourself some silent nights instead of total holiday chaos.

External Links:

• Ebay - Find that perfect gift no matter what it is!
• Stress Management from About.com - Resources dealing with stress
• Holiday Depression & Stress - Web site from the National Mental Health Association