You're 75, have children and grandchildren and many friends, but you miss
the companionship of a special someone. How can you meet him or her?
Online dating services
Many people think that older people are no longer interested in romance or,
God forbid, sex. These same people assume that American seniors can't negotiate
the Internet. But seniors are flocking to online dating services. There are
several that cater only to seniors and the big services like Yahoo, Match, or
American Singles have thousands of senior subscribers. If you live in an urban
area, you will be overwhelmed by the number of potential dates that a search
will kick up. There are many good dating services but it's best not to use free
ones because these tend to attract the weirdo’s. Almost all services allow a
free search so you are able to see who's on a particular service before you
join. Be sure to choose a site that does not require you to use your own
e-mail.
Some don'ts
Don't give out your real
e-mail address until you've gotten to know the person. The same goes for
your phone number.
Don't be too specific about
where you live.
Don't lie about your age or
physical appearance.
Don't provide financial
details and drop anyone who presses you for them.
Drop anyone who expresses
undying love before even meeting you.
The first date
You've found someone you would like to meet in person. Bear in mind that he
is not the only fish in the ocean and that you can be choosy. Meet in a public
place and arrange to have a friend call you at a designated time. This gets you
out of the date if it's a dud.
You will no doubt be very nervous; it may be forty or fifty years since
you've dated and not only are your dating skills rusty, the etiquette of dating
has changed. What will you wear? Will he like you? Will you like him? Who pays
for the coffee? Does he open the door for you? You also have to contend with
your guilt in going out at all. If you are a widow or widower, you may feel you
are being disloyal to your dead spouse. Your grown children are anxious and
disapproving. You feel like a combination awkward teenager and old not in the
know. This first date is carrying allot of weight. This might be a good topic
for conversation because he is likely nervous as well.
More dates
You really like this guy and want to see him again. Go ahead but keep a
couple things in mind. If he asks for financial help with bills or family
problems or if he asks for expensive gifts, drop him. This may seem like a no
brainer but you may be so bedazzled that you allow yourself to be financially
exploited. Watch how he treats waitresses and other service people. If he is
not courteous and thoughtful to them, it's quite possible he will become
abusive to you.
He is a genuinely nice guy and you see each other allot. Neither of you has
lots of money so you need some ideas for inexpensive dates. Go to gallery
openings, you'll get free art plus nibbles plus wine. Or attend open mikes for
free entertainment. Many communities have free lunchtime concerts and most
museums have one free day a week.
You're in love with each other. To marry, live together, or what? Well,
congratulations, but that's a whole new topic