There are so many theories about where to meet eligible men; a bar, online, a supermarket, church, at work, and so on. The "best" place depends on what you have in mind. A quick pickup at a bar is one thing where, as they say, "everyone looks good at 2 AM." But if you're looking for the possibilities of a little deeper relationship you might try "volunteering."
Jan is a single woman living in Huntington Beach,
California. She loves walking along the
water’s edge while enjoying the setting sun. She also likes reading a good
mystery, cooking Italian food, her job as a corporate attorney and spending
time cradling a glass of wine while lying by her fireplace listening to jazz
with her cat stretched out nearby. Life has been good…but not great because
she’s alone.
She is quite busy with her career and it isn’t wise to get linked up with a
fellow attorney, most of whom may be willing but are also married. Jan also is
a firm believer that you “don’t dip your pen in the company inkwell.” She also
doesn’t like the bar scene and considers herself “above that.” An online dating
service is preferable but a little too impersonal for her. Now in her late 20’s
she is more seriously weighing her dating options. The key, it turns out is her
cat.
It turns out that “volunteering” is a great way to meet people and because
Jan has life-long love of animals, she decides that she’d also like to
associate with fellow animal-lovers. And a man who loves his dog…well that is a
big plus with her. But first, let’s review the other options and why they
aren’t as realistic.
The Bar Scene
There probably isn’t a better place to meet someone without wasting a lot of
time. When a man or a woman is sitting at a bar alone, or even with a friend,
it is quite obvious that they’re available. And with some free-flowing liquor
to erase inhibitions it is easy to strike up a conversation. The trouble is
that most people are not only trying to “put their best foot forward,” they’re
usually wearing the wrong shoe size altogether, meaning that they tend to
oversell or exaggerate – a lot. It seems no one at a bar is “average.” It may
very well turn out that you really have very little in common, except sex. If
that’s the game for an evening of fun and frolic then the bar scene is probably
a good bet. Men love it because it doesn’t mean “commitment” but most women
afterwards, say it makes them feel somewhat cheap.
The Market
It could be the local supermarket, a shopping mall, or a Barnes & Noble
bookstore. Lots of men hang out there, especially the latter. At least it shows
that they have some money or they wouldn’t be either buying food, clothes or a
new best-seller. And hopefully a man who can read shows some promise, unless
he’s buying the latest picture-laden book on military aircraft. But again, the
chance encounter is “iffy” and an approach can be awkward, especially if the
woman makes it. It is clearly a step up from the bar scene and a discussion
about a book can lead to coffee at the nearby Starbucks. Clearly this is a
viable dating option but is it really worth all the effort?
Online
The internet has definitely revolutionized the way single people can meet. Match.com
and eHarmony.com have become enormously successful with thousands of members
nationwide. The national dating grand-daddy of them all, Great Expectations,
has finally added online capability as well Women can safely meet guys. This
includes viewing pictures, reading biographies, seeing their age, and in some
cases hearing their voices and reviewing a video clip. On the surface this
sounds great and indeed the eventual dates have led to engagements and
marriage. But there is another side to the coin. Your author has interviewed
several women and the responses include that some men tend to be creepy, and
even married. And the face-to-face meeting was horribly different than what the
photos showed. And no one seemed to be the correct age.
Church
There is no doubt that meeting a single person at church has many
advantages. They obviously have some moral grounding or they wouldn’t be there.
Men probably are better-than-average marriage material, especially if kids are
in the future. The downsides are that fewer and fewer people are attending
organized religious services these days. Many find their spiritual answers on a
more personal basis. It is also a fact that there are a lot more single women
attending a church than single men. So, the pasture can be both green yet
barren, so to speak.
The Water Cooler
There is no doubt that meeting at “the water cooler” has been a preferred
dating spot for eons of time. But this doesn’t necessarily make it ideal.
Dating is the easy part. Keeping it quiet isn’t. And gossip can be
overwhelmingly negative. And admit it girls, women have the monopoly on this
and can’t wait to discuss a scandal. Those engaged in office dating also run
the big risk of the breakup. This is the really awkward part. How can you still
work with a man whom you have come to despise and loath, especially if you see
him with a “new” woman? To illustrate, it turns out that two television news
anchors in Los Angeles began dating
each other. After all, it’s the land of the “beautiful people,” who can’t seem
to keep their hands off each other, married or not. Anyway, after the
inevitable breakup the off-camera fireworks in the studio became the stuff of
legend. If only their language, not to mention the thrown objects, had actually
gotten on the air, this is the stuff of a ratings heaven. Such are the
possibilities of the office romance.
Volunteering
This is an often overlooked area of meeting someone. As is the case with
Jan, she has a passion for animals and it runs deeper than a lot of feelings.
It is this current of emotions that provides a possible permanent basis for a
relationship with a man. These feelings of altruism again, are self-evident and
obvious. Maybe it is a shared concern for animal rescues, or fundraising for a
hospice, or cleaning up the beaches or other environmentally-sensitive areas.
It can also involve politics. Whatever it is, it is a great way for single
people to meet, especially when it comes to women meeting eligible men. There
doesn’t have to be an air of exaggeration with the volunteer work. It becomes
clear that money isn’t everything, and it’s easy to see if a person is genuine.
It is also a less awkward social situation because striking up a conversation
is natural and probably necessary. Also, there is often more time to get to
know someone, either through just one encounter, or on repeated occasions.
There are lots of volunteer options. Every community has them. Some are even
designated for single people. You can search online or in the newspaper when at
least once a week, volunteer opportunities are listed. And, you also might find
love.