Every child throughout history has dreaded bedtime at some point. Every parent knows the frustration and sometimes even the anger that can be involved when trying to get tired children to give up and go to sleep. This is an age-old battle that will, more than likely, never end.

The Bedtime Dilemma

Children, especially small children, seem to have a knack for dragging out the act of going to bed. They are notorious for asking for water, one more story, a snack, a hug, a kiss, the potty, whatever will hold off bedtime for just a couple of more minutes. Meanwhile, even the most patient of parents can become irritated, more so if this is an every night event.

The Why

The fact that children do not want to go to bed is something that most parents understand. Parents are sympathetic to their children’s cries for a little more attention and affection. However, parents also know the importance of their children getting a good night’s sleep and the effect that not getting it can have on their children’s behavior the next day.

The fact that parents are so sympathetic to their children’s plight is what makes it so easy for kids to manipulate bedtime into the marathon sessions they often become. When a parent, tired from a long day, realizes the game they have unknowingly entered into, they too become irritated and upset with their child. At this point, there is not much that a parent wants more than to get their child to sleep and nothing that the child wants more than to stay awake. This turns bedtime into a battle of wills.

Becoming irritated and angry with a child when they are fighting bedtime only adds to the problem. This type of reaction does not tend to bring about the desired result of sleeping children. It does however bring the situation to a peak, the parent often ends up yelling at the child while the child is screaming and crying. This situation will not get the child to sleep.

Parents can unknowingly be the cause of some bedtime problems for their children. A snack before bedtime, if full of sugar can get a child hyper, making it almost impossible to fall asleep. Rough housing or wrestling before bedtime can make the parents tired, but it often has the opposite effect on children, making them so wound up that they could not go to sleep if they wanted.

The Solution

There are several steps that should be taken to ease a child into bedtime. These steps are especially important with younger children who may be experiencing some level of separation anxiety.

The first of these steps is to let your child know well in advance that bedtime is approaching. This can be done in a couple of different ways. For smaller children, let them know that the activities they are engaged in are about to end and will the last ones of the day. This normally works best if they are watching a show or reading a book, something that has a definite end. With an older child, letting them know what time they will be going to bed can be helpful. They can then see the clock and know that bedtime is getting closer, therefore, affectively preparing themselves for a positive transition into bed.

Another positive approach is to let your child know what fun activity is in store for them the following day. If there are special plans, let them know that getting enough sleep is an important part of enjoying themselves the next day. If the next day does not hold anything overly exciting, make it seem like it will. Tell them a little highlight of the day to come. It could be something as simple as being able to help make lunch or doing a small craft. Whatever it is, make it sound fun and explain that they need plenty of sleep to enjoy it.

Perhaps the best solution for getting children to bed with a minimal amount of fussing is to set up a routine. A constant routine will help parents win the bedtime battle more often than with any other avenue. The routine should have a set bedtime, a story, a trip to the potty, perhaps a drink, a kiss and hug. When saying good night to your child, tell them you love them and give them a kiss and a hug. Leave the room. Let them get to sleep on their own, this may be difficult for some kids as well as for some parents, but it is an important skill for them to learn.

Some children may need a little extra something to help them drift off to dreamland. Try letting a child sleep with a shirt that has a familiar scent, perhaps moms perfume. A nightlight is especially appreciated by children who are afraid of the dark; they come in a variety of designs and characters to match your child‘s likes and interests.

If your child is convinced there are monsters in their room, try giving them monster repellant. This is a solution of water and scent, lavender works particularly well. Mix this together and pour in a nice spray bottle. Set the spray bottle to mist and arm the child with the repellent. When they are frightened by a monster, instruct them to spray the repellent to scare it away. As an added bonus, the lavender scent will also help lull your child to sleep.

 The Conclusion

When battling over bedtime with children occurs, it is important to pull back and remember that you are the parent. This does not mean there will not be times when flexibility is needed, but it does mean that children need to have this boundary set for them. They need a normal bedtime routine to help ease them into their beds at night and away to dreamland. Everyone will be much happier the next day when both the kids and the parents are well rested and happy.