Internet use has risen significantly with the last ten years. People are able to do virtually everything online. Banking, paying bills, auctioning, and even buying groceries are a few activities that were once “in person” activities. Some would suggest that this is a good thing for those who are not able to venture out into the real world, and that the Internet gives them a sense of independence again. Others would argue that being able to do so many things online, that we used to have to do in person causes people to be isolated and removed from society.

One of the controversial activities that we see more and more people participating in is Internet dating. A look at all the benefits and not so positive aspects of online relationships will help those who are considering it come to the decision that is best for them.

Different Ways to Start an Internet Romance

There are many ways that people connect and start relationships over the Internet. Going to a website with forums and having discussions allow people to get to know different ways of thinking. Sometimes we find someone who shares what we ourselves believe. Chat rooms and chat software have options to search for people who fit your age range and interests. Finally, there are websites that cater specifically to those who want to find lasting love. Typing “online dating services” in any popular search engine will result in literally thousands of websites that seek to help people meet their perfect match. There are businesses to represent every religion, race and walk of life. Most are reasonably priced and offer a trial period to test out the quality of the site. Every one of them has a section dedicated to testimonials of those who found their soul-mate and even wedded bliss. One man met his wife on an online dating service that is specifically for Catholic singles. He has been married for two years and they have one child.

The Benefits of Finding Love Online

There are many positive aspects of cyberdating. People are able to reach outside their communities, even their own country and talk to anyone in area of the planet. Searching through chat software or on specific singles websites allows for screening and honing in on exactly what type of person is desired. Getting to know someone through conversation instead of on what is sometimes a purely physical level may create a deeper appreciation for who they really are. Having similar thought processes can create good chemistry. By communicating, we can see if someone has the same religious or political beliefs, stances on social issues and likes or dislikes. Internet dating is good for those who do not like the bar or club scene. Many find that these venues do not create lasting relationships. Others may not belong to a particular group of people where they can meet someone. There are those who are too shy to join an in-person singles group. Looking for someone online helps people to come out of themselves and be someone they could not be in a social setting.

The Downfalls of Internet Romance

Like anything, it is good to look at the negative aspects of dating someone found over the Internet. Some are reluctant because of safety issues, this is a very realistic concern. One never knows exactly who is on the other side of the computer screen. Anyone can represent themselves as a certain type of person and then be someone completely different when the face-to-face meeting happens. Long distance relationships can be expensive because it can involve large phone bills and travel costs. Over time, it may strain the relationship to have someone we deeply care for be so far away. Some people maintain that carrying on a relationship that is largely over the phone and computer prevents people from really getting to know each other. They claim that because people are not able to see their partner in different arenas that their perception of them is not balanced. People need to observe how their partner interacts with friends, family, co-workers and in other social settings to get a sense of the bigger picture. All of these arguments against online dating are perfectly legitimate and should be taken into consideration when making a decision about it.

Tips for Cyberdating

Suppose that someone does decide to pursue a relationship with someone online; either by taking it one step further with someone they met by chance, or with someone they actively sought out. Here are some tips that can help to ensure a safe and fulfilling experience.

1. Move very slow. Get to know the person as thoroughly as possible. Take the time to talk to him regularly. Pacing oneself is essential because once ties are created, they are very difficult to break. Going into a relationship with in the intention of being friends first takes the pressure off of people to be a certain type of person. The best relationships are the ones where the romance was a natural result of getting to know someone better. One woman made the man she met on a singles website wait a year and a half before she agreed to meet in person. This was after they talked extensively over the phone and on the computer. She also talked to his parents, siblings and roommate. When she was finally ready to take the step of meeting the young man, she knew that it was safe to do so. It was common sense that he would not have allowed her to interact with those closest to him if he had anything to hide.

2. Don't focus on just one person! With 6.5 billion people on the planet there is much to be said about putting all the eggs into one basket! There are many, many people who will fit a particular ideal. If someone knows more than one person who is attractive to them, they need to develop relationships with all of them. If romance is meant to be, then it will happen. Even maintaining a relationship with someone who is not entirely what we want could lead to something. The cliché still rings true that opposites do attract!

3. Ensure personal safety. Don't be too quick to give out personal information like phone numbers and specific location until it is certain a person is safe. After there is pretty good reason to believe that there is no danger in meeting someone in person, meet in a public place. Tell family or friends where the meeting will take place and with who. Provide as many details as possible in case something does happen. That way the appropriate authorities have what they need to help.

4. Cut down on expenses. If the relationship is a long-distance one it is easy to cut down on expenses. Finding a calling plan that provides decent rates will lower the cost of telephone bills. Making small investments like a microphone or webcam for the computer so that the talking can be done for free over the Internet is an excellent way to save money. Travel costs can be really expensive. Find a way to collect airmiles or reward points that can be applied to plain, train or bus tickets. Planning trips in down season can result in large discounts through special rates and travel packages. Also, sharing the cost of the relationship will prevent one partner from feeling burdened financially and will foster a sense of equality.

5. Don't be afraid to take carefully planned risks! No matter what a person decides either for or against Internet dating, one thing can be agreed upon is that risk is involved. However, this can be said about meeting someone in conventional ways as well. In fact, there are risks involved for every decision we make, every day of our lives. One just has to come to the conclusion of whether or not the outcome is worth it.