You’ve worked hard to prepare a healthy, well-balanced meal for your family, but when you offer it to your toddler he just turns up his finicky little nose. Most of the food ends up strewn on the high chair tray or tabletop and the floor (except for the bits of cooked carrot mashed into his hair). It makes mealtimes frustrating, and you worry that he’s not getting the nutrition that he needs. If it’s not a hot dog or macaroni, he won’t touch it – and you’re at the end of your rope. So how do you make sure that your child is getting all the good stuff he requires?

First, understand why toddlers pick at food.

Toddlers have just come out of a major growth spurt. After their first year, the rate of growth slows (even though it seems they’re still growing like weeds). So logically, their little bodies don’t require quite as much food. Combine this with a short attention span – to a two year old who’s constantly moving, sitting through dinner probably seems like an eternity – and you’ve got a recipe for a picky eater. The most important thing to remember is that it’s completely normal, and it’s not your fault. Your child’s refusal to eat doesn’t mean he’s snubbing your culinary skills, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. His eating habits are erratic at best, so instead of aiming for a nutritionally balanced day, aim for a nutritionally balanced week. He may eat well one day and ingest virtually nothing the next, or binge on one certain category of food, such as fruits. It’s very hard to predict from day to day what your child will want. That’s just the way toddlers are, and until they grow out of it, we need to adjust accordingly.

It’s all in the presentation.

Just as we adults tend to gravitate toward visually pleasing foods, so do kids. Instead of adding a parsley garnish, however, get more whimsical with your toddler’s food. Arrange a variety of foods on a plate to form some sort of picture: a flower made of hard-boiled egg slices, for example, with half a cherry tomato in the center and a celery-stick stem. You can even throw in a couple of cottage cheese clouds! You don’t have to be an artist, by any means … just use your imagination. Kids really go for bright colors and fanciful designs and will be more apt to eat things that are creatively presented. Whole-wheat pancakes are great canvases on which to make berry faces; you can even let your child make his own food “picture” and then eat the results.

Change the packaging.

Sometimes, just as with the visual presentation of food, what you serve it on – or in – can make a difference. So your toddler won’t eat her cooked carrot wheels off of a regular plate? Try serving it to her on one of the plates from her pretend kitchen set. Or transform a scoop of tuna salad into something fun to eat by serving it inside a hollowed-out bell pepper. Anything new and different is fun to kids, so get creative and find innovative serving “dishes” that you may have overlooked. Measuring cups, small pots or skillets … if you can put something in it, it’s worth a try!

Can I help?

Toddlers love to feel like they’re helping, regardless of how much “help” they may actually be. A great way to introduce new foods, and make sure your child tries them, is to let her assist you in the preparation. Make a big deal out of having an “assistant” and give her small jobs such as stirring, dumping in ingredients, or washing fruits and vegetables. Another way to make her feel like she’s instrumental in what she eats: grow a garden together. Even veggies that she wouldn’t normally eat gain a new appeal when she “grew them herself.” If you don’t have the time or space to grow a garden, try letting her have a hand in what you choose at the grocery store: “Should we get red apples, or green ones? Which carrots look the best?”

Do the dip!

At an age where “I can do it myself” is the motto, kids are very hands-on. And they like to handle things that are potentially messy. So what’s better to serve a toddler than something he can dip? Bagels, rice cakes, fruit or veggie slices are livened up when they can be dipped into something nutritious such as homemade guacamole, cottage cheese, yogurt, or applesauce. There are tons of possibilities with this – if a food can be pureed, something can be dipped into it!

Let ‘em spread.

Along the same lines as dipping, your toddler will think spreading is great fun. Supervise him with a butter knife (try a plastic knife, which is lighter weight and therefore less awkward for little fingers to handle) and allow him to smear to his heart’s content. Peanut butter on apple slices, or fruit-juice sweetened jam on whole wheat toast, are two great examples.

Bottoms up!

We’re not talking about forgoing food in favor of plain juice or milk. Make a delicious smoothie for your child! A smoothie is a very easy – and tasty – way to cram several servings of fruits and calcium in one drink. You can supplement the smoothie with tofu, wheat germ, protein powder, or any other ingredient that can be easily blended in (don’t use raw eggs, though, or you run the risk of salmonella). Serve it in a favorite cup with a crazy straw, and bam! It’ll be an instant favorite that you can feel good about. Or complement your child’s diet with one of the pre-made nutritional drinks on the market, such as Ensure, that is specifically targeted toward kids.

Rename the ordinary.

Your toddler may not be thrilled about eating broccoli with cheese sauce, but how about eating “trees and cheese?” Sounds much more fun, doesn’t it? As a child, I remember my mother making a spectacular bright-green dip that I would eat with carrot sticks – she called it “Kermit dip” in honor of my favorite Sesame Street character. Come to find out, it was just mashed avocado and a few seasonings – but it was cleverly disguised as something fun, and I gobbled it up. If it had been called what it was, I might never have touched it: “Avocado? Eww …”

Keep a snack stash.

Kids aren’t going to get all their required nutrition at mealtimes alone, so smart snacking is important. Designate a low shelf in the refrigerator that your toddler can reach with ease, and keep it stocked with kid-friendly finger foods: cheese cubes, red bell pepper strips, steamed broccoli florets, sliced hardboiled egg, apple slices … there is an infinite variety. Several times a day, put out a plate of those kinds of snacks so that your toddler can eat from it whenever she happens to cruise by. Offer her a few different choices so she doesn’t grow tired of the same old snack, and take note of what she particularly likes. Many people are opposed to their kids munching between meals, but studies show that being allowed to nibble throughout the day keeps kids’ blood sugar levels steady, and can actually reduce mood swings and behavior problems that result from low blood sugar. If you want your child to eat meals at the same time as the rest of the family, withdraw the snacks two hours before meals.

Make each calorie count.

Choose foods that are nutritionally dense. For example, whole wheat bread or pasta instead of white … sweet potatoes instead of regular potatoes … yogurt instead of pudding. When your toddler only eats a little bit, you have to pack as much nourishment into each bite as you can.

And remember …

Expect inconsistency. Expect a food to be a favorite one day and banished from the plate the next. Expect “I want to do it myself” one day and “Will you do it?” the next. It’s perfectly normal for toddlers, whose moods and preferences are as unpredictable – and rapidly changeable – as the weather. Don’t take any of this personally, just roll with the punches. You’re doing your best to instill good eating habits in your child, and it will pay off as soon as the toddler phase passes … whenever that may be!