Once a woman gets engaged, she launches a full scale wedding planning process. There are colors to consider, flowers to choose, cakes to taste, vendors to meet and contracts to sign. This definitely is not a one person project. Help is needed but it doesn’t have to come from the mother of the bride, the bridesmaids or a wedding consultant.

The groom should be a bride’s right hand man when it comes to wedding planning decisions. After all, the groom is the one of two central figures at the wedding, so why shouldn’t he have an opinion on matters from booking a limo to renting a banquet hall?

It used to be that the parents of the bride paid for an elaborate wedding, but in modern times many couples are paying for their own wedding. When a bride and groom foot the bill themselves they want to be as involved as possible to make sure they’re getting their money’s worth on their wedding day.

Since marriage is about partnership, why shouldn’t the wedding planning be a partnership too? Couples need to look at planning for the big day as a chance to take on a large task as a couple. Each partner can be responsible for a few things and together they can make all the decisions about their wedding.

One of the first decisions to make is the date and time for the wedding. The bride and groom should make this decision together. Next up is the budget. If the couple is paying the bill themselves, they have total control over all the costs associated with the wedding. But if family or friends are hosting or co-hosting the big day, then those folks may have a say in how their money is spent. Still, the bride and groom should make the ultimate decision since it’s their special day.

Researching vendors is just one of many key areas where the groom can help plan the wedding. The bride and groom can split the duties of finding vendors. For example, the husband-to-be can study up on tuxedos, photography, transportation and caterers while the soon-to-be-Mrs. Checks out florists, stationers and wedding day attire from a dress to shoes to jewelry.

It’s a good idea for the groom to accompany the bride to local bridal shows where hundreds of vendors and other wedding day resources are on hand to explain their services. Bridal shows offer a chance for the couple to survey lots of vendors at once. It can be a great overview to an otherwise scary and overwhelming process.

Some aspects of wedding planning will be boring to the groom. Tasks like selecting tiaras or choosing wedding day makeup for the bride will not be interesting to the groom. But that’s OK because the groom has a lot of other things he can oversee including honeymoon preparations and reviewing all vendor contracts.

Wedding planning can be overwhelming and it’s easy for a guy’s opinions and feelings to get overlooked. But a bride should check in with her groom from time to time during the planning process to make sure he feels involved in the decisions and that his efforts are appreciated.

Below are a few suggestions to help the groom get involved in wedding planning:

Don’t dictate.

Sure it’s a bride’s special day, but it’s also a groom’s big day too. Couples need to share wedding planning duties but that doesn’t mean the groom gets a to-do list from the bride. Delegating tasks may make the groom resent the planning process. Instead find areas where he’s willing to help and encourage him to have fun and take charge of the task. For example, if he’s a music lover, ask him to choose the disc jockey for the reception. A guy who’s handy around the house can set up a registry for tools or BBQ accessories.

Ask for a helping hand.

A groom may think his bride doesn’t want or need any planning help. That’s why a bride should let her groom know how much she wants him to be a part of the planning process. Guys may also think there’s nothing for them to do. After all, most guys aren’t interested in choosing flowers, selecting invitations and coordinating wedding favors. Find other areas of wedding planning where he can take charge.

Start small.

Even the most uninvolved groom can find a few aspects of wedding planning to handle. As a couple, the bride and groom can discuss which things appeal to the groom. Maybe he can be in charge of gifts for the wedding party or he can balance the bridal budget every week. This is a great time for a couple to learn how to share tasks. Think of it as practice for a lifetime of decision-making with a spouse.

Study for Success.

So much wedding planning info is available on the internet these days. Web-surfing grooms can help research trends and bridal tips online. Maybe the husband-to-be can even create a wedding website all about the happy couple and their upcoming big day.

What do you think, dear?

Hear each other out. A groom may have a great wedding idea but he may be afraid to share it with his bride. Couples should create an atmosphere of openness about wedding planning. Maybe the bride’s ideas or the groom’s suggestion won’t be incorporated into the overall scheme, but the thoughts, attitudes and opinions are important nonetheless. The bride and groom may need to repeatedly discuss a matter to find common ground, but again that’s practice for the compromises of a successful.

Give me a break!

The best wedding planners admit that the job can be demanding and stressful. Since brides and grooms have the same feelings about the planning process, it’s important to give each other some space when things get hectic. The result? A grateful companion.

Thank you!

A show of appreciation will go a long way in a healthy relationship. A bride and her groom should frequently compliment and thank each other for hard work, determination and commitment to wedding planning and to each other.