There is an interesting story that may explain how tipping began. Some say that in times past, wealthy customers would offer to buy wait staff a drink or a meal as a generous gesture of thanks for good service. Obviously, a server could not sit down and indulge while working, but the thoughtful customer might leave him a small amount of money with which to purchase a drink or a bite to eat when his shift was over. This small gift of gratitude, or "gratuity," may well have developed into what is known today as a tip.

WHY SHOULD I LEAVE A TIP?

"Why should I pay somebody else's employees?" This question is asked frequently, and the answer is simple. The owner of the establishment certainly could pay the employees more money, but he or she would have no choice but to raise prices in that case.

By allowing you the option of tipping, you are allowed to decide how much you are willing to pay for that meal. The menu price, plus tax, plus tip –even a generous tip- is less than you would pay for the same meal if the waiter were making even minimum wage.

In many cases, the owner would at least have to double the employee's rate of pay just to reach minimum wage. If he or she was forced to double each waitperson's pay, it isn't difficult to see how quickly a night out to dinner would be priced out of reach for many people. By splitting the cost between many customers, at a few dollars each, the employee makes enough money to live on, the owner is able to keep the cost down, the customer can afford to go out to eat, and everyone is happy.

AM I OBLIGATED TO TIP?

In the U.S., it is well known that wait staff are paid little, so to some it seems as if customers are guilt tripped into tipping whether they feel it's earned or not. To some extent this is true, and as noted it has come to be considered part of the cost of the meal. That however is no excuse for poor service. A server who is unprofessional or rude or simply does not do a good job, is not deserving of a generous tip. Some people leave a small tip anyway, knowing that the person still has to eat, but that tip will be directly in line with the quality –or lack thereof- of the service.

This goes back to the discussion of how much you are willing to pay for a meal. You cannot reduce the menu price, but you can certainly lower the tip from 20% to 10% if the meal is not as enjoyable as it could have been. You decided to pay 10% less for that meal, because the experience was not what you expected. Some people enjoy having this control over the situation and wish that every industry offered such a mechanism for insuring good service.

On the other hand, there are customers that take advantage of the wait staff's reliance on their generosity. No matter how excellent the service is, they do not leave a decent tip and simply use any excuse to leave less than the customary amount. This is just their way of saving money. It is of course the customer's prerogative, but such customers too are indicating just what kind of service they expect in the future.

Professional waitpersons will try to ignore such slights, and continue to provide courteous, efficient service to every customer, but some servers will definitely respond in kind. Rumors of terrible things being done to people's food are largely exaggerated, but some servers will undoubtedly refrain from doing any special favors for customers that continuously refuse to tip or leave extremely low tips.

While tipping is not obligatory, failing to tip a conscientious, professional server is considered an insult, and an incredibly small tip can be more insulting than leaving nothing at all.

TIP OR DON'T TIP FOR THE RIGHT REASONS

Restaurant patrons should also refrain from taking their anger out on the server for things that are beyond her control. If the chef burns your steak, or the bartender makes a weak drink, ask the server to return it and bring another. In most cases, she will be happy to try to fix the problem. She has no control over these things and should not be penalized for them. The customer is essentially "docking her pay" by lowering her tip, and she shouldn't be paid less than she deserves because someone else failed to do his or her job properly.

Also, take into account that when a restaurant is busy, you might have to wait longer than usual for your meal. Do not take it out on the server. As long as he politely acknowledges you, waits on you as quickly as possible, and does what he can to keep you comfortable until your food arrives, you should tip a reasonable amount.

On the other hand, if the server is rude, impatient, ignores your attempts to get his attention, or completely ruins your dining experience through thoughtless mistakes or lackadaisical service, feel free to indicate your displeasure by leaving little or no tip.

HOW MUCH SHOULD I TIP?

The recommended amount to tip is about 15%. Some argue that since tipping rates have not increased in many years, as the cost of living has increased, that the standard amount should be raised to 20%. Somewhere between the two is considered a "good" tip.

Many people simply leave 10% because it is easier to calculate in their heads, but that amount is considered a "low" tip and may leave the server wondering what he did wrong. You can find tip calculators to print and place in your wallet at different sites online, or you make up a cheat sheet to keep in your pocketbook. Or, ask the server to include a tip, and he or she will be happy to add it up the percentage you choose.

Some restaurants note in the menu what percentage will be included for parties of eight, or more. Make sure the server has in fact added the tip before you leave. Many professional servers are loathe to include the tip and feel that it is too presumptuous or rude to do so. They leave the amount up to the customer. All too frequently, the customer will assume that the tip was included and will leave nothing for the server. It is very discouraging to serve a large party for a long period of time, and receive nothing.

On the other hand, you may not have noticed any mention of added tip when viewing the menu, and may end up leaving an extra tip. For both of these reasons, it is best to check with the server and see if the tip has been included or not. Feel free to leave a little extra even if the tip has been added in, but this should only occur by your choice.

IN CONCLUSION:

Think of a tip as your way of insuring good service, especially in restaurants that you frequent regularly. A good tipper is quickly recognized and treated as such, and so is a "bad" one.