The "Safety." The "Reach." The "Best-Fit." Percent Admitted. Ivy League. State. Private. Jesuit. If you are familiar with these terms, you have delved seriously and thoughtfully into the college application process. Helping your child get into college isn’t merely about another phase of academics, many people treat it as a character/life defining occasion. Parents are eager to help, but often do not realize how the process is ever-evolving and multifacted. This misled mindset results in making many key mistakes when helping in the college process. By knowing a few essential facts, you can make the process much less painful and smooth for you and your child.

1. Depending on the student’s high school to guide the process.

High school resources (especially guidance counselors) are not a major factor in the process. Most guidance counselors do not take a very involved roll in the application process. They are almost always required to give a recommendation and help with some paperwork, but they do not provide in-depth analysis and suggestions when it comes to choosing a school. A guidance counselor has many students to take care of and while they may try to help, they simply cannot provide well-educated suggestions as they do not know your child very well at all. Most junior and senior year meetings between guidance counselors and students last no longer than three minutes! They are primarily concerned with whether or not your child will even graduate. These meetings typically consist of merely telling the student that they have enough credits to graduate. Making an extra meeting with a counselor and your child will not yield much better results. While a meeting may be somewhat informative, it does not change the fact they do not know the student very well. Calling a counselor often for tips, advisement, etc., is generally a poor idea as it merely stresses the counselor and leaves the parent and student with fuzzy ideas.

2. Emphasizing a few, select school choices that are "perfect" for the student.

The average number of colleges a competitive high school student applies to is four. However applying to as many as seven to ten is a much better idea. Application fees are very easily waived and do not ordinarily require extensive financial background information. Often simply a phone call to the appropriate college office or a check on the application where it applies will suffice. Information required on applications is fairly universal. It is time-consuming and labor-intensive, but certainly not a mentally taxing process to fill out the majority of an application. Furthermore, the Common Application is an application form accepted by many schools, so a student may only need to fill out one application for six schools. They must remember however to fill out the Common Application supplement for each individual school. It is better not to have regrets later about where one applied, and give the student as many choices as possible come springtime when admissions decisions are sent out. Applying to many schools does not affect a specific school’s view on the applicant. A school cannot obtain such information unless it is provided by the student him/herself on the application. Financial aid offers will differ greatly from school to school regardless of your socio-economic status and strength of the application. Having a full, diverse selection of aid packages to choose from may be key to making that final selection. Also applying to many schools may lead to more openmindedness with school choices. Why not apply to that extra reach school? Why not apply to that film or art school? Instead of having to "narrow down" a few select schools foster a sense of diversity in selection. If you are pushing your son or daughter to go to your alma mater that they loathe, they will put up much less of a fight in applying to it if it is merely one of many schools they are applying to. There is a reduced pressure of being locked in to a few school choices and feeling tense about admissions responses -- less pressure and tension is better for everyone!

3. Focusing on a school’s "reputation" or "personality."

When it comes to selective colleges, any one of their campuses has the relatively same sort of social diversity, your jocks, your artists, your activists, etc. Only a handful of more select schools are truly inclined a certain way. Even so, an artsy and liberal campus may not be a perfect fit for an artsy and liberal person. Don’t buy much into the caricatures many college books provide on schools as they will not likely weigh on your child’s happiness there. Finding friends and fitting in socially will be relatively the same everywhere. Academics are often the best indicator to the experience at a certain school. Make a list with your child of their top 15 academic interests, encourage them to put down anything at all, as unlikely or far-fetched as it may seem to them to actually do. When visiting schools and talking to admission representatives, questions about academics are far more informative than ones about campus safety, social atmosphere, extracurricular activities, etc. Answers about the latter will often be very rehearsed and general, "Our safety is great...the extracurriculars are popular...the social life is fun and easy to get into...etc.” Obtaining a current school course catalogue is a great way to see the popularity and development of a major, if the Comparative Lit department only offers one course next semester, it’s probably a good indication that this department is very small and has a very limited academic experience. Don’t confuse a course directory/bulletin with the current course catalogue. Schools like to send out "academic bulletins" to prospective students; these are very thick, book-like objects that look impressive and imply variety. While that may be true, the current course catalogue, a thin, magazine-like booklet found on campus, will list courses being offered the current/next semester. This will give you a much better idea of the academic opportunities. Educate your child about "major requirements." Some schools may require ten courses for a History major, others six. Knowing the differences in major requirements give an idea about how viable double majoring, study abroad, taking an extra language, etc. will actually be.

4. Preparing for a college interview that will make or break their acceptance to a school.

For freshman undergraduate admissions, the interview does not weigh in on a final admission decision whatsoever. Many schools have gotten rid of interviews altogether! At many schools like Columbia University for example, interviews are now considered to be extra information sessions for the student, rather than a character evaluation. Many students going to competitive schools do not even go through an interview. It is not a requirement for admission and opting to ask for an interview (unless you have many questions about the school to ask a school rep) is fairly useless and often just added pressure for the student. Being called, emailed, etc. about taking an interview is not a privilege for favored applicants. Many people think that because they were asked if they would like an interview, this means they have made it past some first phase of applying, but this is not the case. Everyone is asked! Interviews are only important if they are specifically for a scholarhip, in this case an interview may be a deciding factor for the scholarship. If you are still unsure about whether or not the interview scheduled for your child is one that will weigh in on admissions, just ask the person interviewing them! Call or email the alumni or admissions counselor who is supposed to conduct the interview and ask about the interview’s importance in admission. They are instructed fully on how to answer this question.

5. Thinking ‘My child has the perfect application put together, he/she is a shoo-in.’

There is no such thing as the perfect application. It cannot be created! Applicants are not judged as individuals, but as part of a larger picture for the freshman class. Colleges want to preserve their variety of jocks, musicians, brainiacs, artists, politicians, etc., and make decisions accordingly in admissions. Try not to think so much about what the school wants and more about who the applicant is. You already know your child would do well at this school, why do you know that? Make sure your child understands this idea and does not feel pressured to present themselves otherwise just to fit some sort of admission ideal. The admissions committee wants to know who the applicant is, not how wonderful the applicant would be for their school. It is very obvious when an application is "selling itself." It is much better when an applicant treats the application just as an opportunity to give a genuine picture of who they are as a student and as a person.

Making it easy -- it's all about attitude!

College is not just an opportunity for a great career of academic enrichment, it is also a time for your child to grow, become independent, and form their own ideas. Make sure to keep this in mind and allow him/her to explore their many possibilities. Being a positive, encouraging force during this time is key to allowing your child to relax and have a bit of fun with this decision.