After a year of the “Mommy and Me” class and three years of pre-school gymnastics, your daughter has finally been asked to join the competitive team. She’s excited—you’re a nervous wreck. You’ve heard the stories about little girls starving themselves just to get a competitive edge. Lately, you’ve heard about little girls using steroids. And everybody knows how gymnastics coaches can destroy a girl’s self-esteem. So now you have to decide: do you let her join the team or try to talk her into piano lessons?Being a member of a competitive gymnastics team can be a fantastic experience for your daughter, if you follow a few simple guidelines. My daughter won her first national championship at the age of eight, and her self-esteem couldn’t be better. She’s incredibly strong (without the use of steroids) and healthy, and she certainly isn’t starving herself to death. In addition, she and her coach have a great relationship.After years of experience as a gymnastics mom, I’ve developed this six-step strategy for being a good gymnastics mom, and it seems to be working for both me and my daughter.

Leave the Coaching to the Experts

Never, ever coach your daughter. That’s the coach’s job. It’s your job to be supportive and to praise your child for working hard at practice. If she’s not working hard and then complains about losing, you can mention that she might need to focus more at practice, but don’t dwell on it. You should attend practices and observe your daughter, but don’t participate. Stay quiet! Let the coach be the bully—you need to be there to wipe the tears and kiss the bruised knees. On the other hand, don’t let her whine. Help her understand her frustration and see if you can help her find a solution to her problem. Let her know that she can talk to you, to her coach, and to her teammates. Everyone wants her to succeed, but she has to want it, too.

Respect the Coaches

Never criticize the coaches in front of anyone else. If you undermine their authority, your child will not respect them. This could set your daughter up for an injury. She needs to know that the coaches are in charge and that she must follow their rules. Gymnastics can be a dangerous sport, and safety must come first. However, never let a coach insult your child. If you believe a coach is taking the wrong approach with your daughter, ask to speak with him/her privately, and then explain your position in a calm manner. Coaches understand that children have different learning styles, and they usually welcome your insight into your child’s particular needs. My daughter responds best to a loud, aggressive coach, but some of her teammates need a softer touch. If the coach isn’t willing to listen to you, then it’s time to look for a new team (but make sure you are being realistic, and don’t expect the coach to show favorites).

Be a Team Player

Support the entire team. If the team is trying to raise money for a trip to Regionals, then pitch in and help out. You can wash cars, make pancakes, and sell cookie dough just like everyone else. If the team is hosting a meet, volunteer to work as a spotter, a scorekeeper, a popcorn maker, or a t-shirt salesperson. By doing this extra work, you will show your daughter how valuable she is to you. Also, you can build great relationships this way. The girls on my daughter’s team are like sisters to each other, and because I know the other parents so well, I feel comfortable asking them to keep an eye on her when I can’t be there. Another benefit is getting to know the coaches. If they see that you are willing to work hard for the team, they’ll be more willing to listen to your opinions.

Make Health a Priority

Keep your child healthy. Insist on plenty of sleep and serve nutritious meals. Spending a lot of time at the gym means eating a lot of fast-food meals, but they don’t have to be junk-food meals. Make sure your daughter is getting plenty of protein for her muscles, plenty of dark green veggies for folic acid, and plenty of calcium for her bones. Don’t let her load up on sugar—that quick burst of energy won’t sustain her throughout a three-hour practice.

Listen to Your Child

Take her injuries seriously. I’ll never forget one night when I told my daughter to quit crying and focus on her next pass. The next morning, her index finger was swollen and discolored. Turns out that it was broken. Since then, we’ve experienced pulled muscles and a broken tailbone, but when she cries, I check her out before sending her back out onto the floor. However, don’t be overprotective. If your daughter falls or lands on her head, let the coach deal with it first. Most coaches are trained in the treatment of sports injuries, and usually an ice pack, some ibuprofen, and a little rest is all that’s needed. If you panic every time she gets hurt, your daughter will be too scared to keep going.

Remember, There's More to Life than Gymnastics

Insist that your daughter have a life outside of the gym. I know that a lot of coaches want their girls to be home schooled so that they can spend more hours in the gym, but I don’t think that’s a healthy approach. Children need to be exposed to different ideas and different cultures, and that usually won’t happen in the gym. Her education must come first—she won’t be a gymnast all her life. Your daughter also needs something to fall back on if she gets injured and can’t compete. Music, art, drama, and writing are good mental therapy for girls who can’t get into the gym to work out. There’s more to life than gymnastics, and your daughter needs to be prepared for anything.

No matter how hard you try to avoid it, you’re always going to be a little nervous about letting your daughter compete. You’ll always hear about abusive coaches, girls on drugs, and serious injuries, but you have to remember that every activity has its dangers. There’s nothing like the feeling of pride you’ll have when your daughter sticks her first landing, gets her first gold medal, and wins her first national championship. All of the time you put in sitting at the gym and the effort you expended selling cookie dough will be rewarded when you see her hugging her teammates after a great performance. Sure piano lessons are great, but gymnastics is fantastic!

External Links:

• USA Gymnastics - Governing body for gymnastics competitions in the U.S.