A brief etiquette on how to have fun and be safe while looking for love online.
It’s Okay.
We’ve all been looking for love in the wrong places but not so for Internet dating anymore. The Internet is no longer a strange place to find romance any longer and it’s much more acceptable than it has ever been. The stigma or strangeness that was once attached to it is lifting as more and more people are getting on line and discovering how fun and safe it is to meet some one online as apposed to some smoke filled bar or any other place that is the regular haunt for the person on the lookout. There are literally millions of people searching on line for that someone special.
Where to begin.
There are many sites now that deal specifically with helping you find that some one special, but not all sites are as good as each other and to be quite blunt some of them can be pretty sleazy.
I suggest you do a quick Internet search and find the ones you like most. Check through the profiles and see what type of person is available on it. Not only that but you don’t want to join a site and find out there are only three people in your area that you like the look and sound of. But I have added the URLs of a few sites that are quite good and have lots of members to chose from.
Most sites have a Guest Browse option, meaning you can use a limited search criteria to initially see who is out there. Don’t let that stop you because membership is generally free for most functions accept email contact, and then you get more options which allows you to be a little more selective.
Killer Profiles.
There are a couple of tips to writing a profile that is going to attract someone’s attention. And a couple to make sure you attract the right ones.
Firstly be specific when you are stating what you are looking for. There are so many people out there to chose from your bound to find some one who meets any criteria you need. Also be specific about what you want out of that person. There no sense in writing, “I’d like to meet a nice guy,” or, “I’m looking for a relationship,” or being vague in any way. Tell the intended out there on the net exactly what you want out of a person and any relationship you care to enter into.
Post a picture of yourself. Profiles with pictures get more responses, people get a better feel for who you are and it opens the door for attraction to work. Let’s face it we want to be attracted to and be attractive too anyone we are considering dating, it’s just human nature. There’s no need to be embarrassed about posting a pick, because really when you think about it anyone who sees it is online looking for some one anyway or they wouldn’t be there.
Be honest when you’re stating who you are when posting a profile. Try not to use one word, like, funny, intelligent or any other singular description. Try to say things like, “I love to laugh,” or, “ I like it when people can make me think.”
Talk about things that you enjoy and try to avoid being cliché. Walks along the beach at sunset are fine and nice but so well used as to be ignored on sight. Is there something you do that is unique and tells a lot about who you are as a person? Then tell them that.
Try to use a little humor and not take it all too seriously. Making some one laugh can be the best way to interest them, for some reason we humans grow instant attraction and fondness to some one who can make us chuckle.
Lastly you don’t need to reveal your life story in a profile, just give enough of a teaser that is going to give your intended enough information to make them want to find out more.
Contacting.
Don’t be afraid to initiate contact, and don’t worry if you get a few nice “no thank you’s.” There are plenty of fish in the sea. But if you see someone you like then say hello, you have nothing to lose. One of the best ways to do this is through the site free contact options, sometimes called “winks,” or, “flirts.” They are usually available free but have limited functions, you can’t post information to that person like your email but they usually have a text component that the website attaches to them. Things like, “I like your profile,” or some such thing. This lets you initiate contact and see how they might respond while still using you “free” membership.
Be safe.
I find the best way to contact people and be safe is to use a free mail server. For this I recommend Yahoo. I suggest you don’t use your ISP provided account. Some unscrupulous people can use that information to find out more about you than you want them to know. It would be foolish to say that everyone out there have the best intentions, remember the water is full of sharks. So when contacting some one it is best to use a free account and to only give them you first name.
But you have emailed and want to go a bit further, that’s good. But remember the Golden Rule, do it safely. This is where Yahoo is great, they have a free messenger, which allows you to talk in real time without giving out any more information than you already have. (Links below). You can text chat in real time, or for under $20 you can buy a headset and voice chat. It is fairly simple so that any novice can figure it out fairly quickly.
Though now you are ready to talk on the phone. I suggest for the women that you ask the man to give you his number first.
Now don’t think that theses precautions will put your intended off. Anyone who is genuinely interested in you will understand your need to be cautious and wont mind at all. Those that don’t want to accept some sort of safety etiquette and understand the need for it would be a little dubious anyway.
In everything be as open and honest as you would like someone to be with you. If you are open and honest and the person you have been talking too decides they don’t want to continue you have lost nothing, but if they do want to continue then you have gained much and begun any relationship, friendship or more, in the best way possible.
Meeting.
Well, you’re going great and now you want to meet. Fantastic! Still, there is the need to do it safely. I suggest you go to a public place. Not to their home or yours, go somewhere where there are enough people that you can feel comfortable.
It’s better to go to a non-committal venue. Coffee, rather than dinner and a movie. I know that you have had a great time till now but even though you have it’s much easier to meet some one over some coffee than to put your new relationship under the strain of a big outing. You can always, if you have hit it off in person, extent coffee to anything you’d like. Also another great tip is to tell some one what you are doing and give them a time to call you on your mobile, a trusted friend or family. This does two things. It gives you a blanket of protection and it also gives you an out if things aren’t going so great. So there can be an emergency that means you have to cut the date short.
Lastly if things are still going great. Always wear your best underwear!
Now there are no hard and fast rules about falling in love. This is just a sensible guide to make sure you can find romance in the best and safest way. When you’re a seasoned veteran feel free to keep or break as many of them as you like. Internet dating should be a fun and enjoyable experience, but above all. Safe.