Preparing and delivering a classy wedding toast is made easy with a few important tips.
Avoiding Disaster
Imagine the scene: a hush falls over the crowd of well-dressed family and
friends, and all eyes turn towards you. You exchange a meaningful glance with
the bride and groom as you rise to your feet, clear your throat, raise your
glass…and totally choke. What can you say to describe such a momentous occasion?
Why didn’t you practice this before today? What made you think you could come up
with something off the cuff? The groom’s grandmother waits expectantly as the
champagne glass grows slippery in your palm. You gasp, you stutter, and a scant
twenty seconds later you’ve floundered through something you know you’re going
to regret. And it’s all on video to be preserved through the ages.
This doesn’t have to happen to you. Writing the perfect wedding toast can be
simple and enjoyable if you remember a few key ideas.
Be Brief
Do keep it short. Wedding receptions are long enough without you giving a
twenty-minute thesis on why the bride and groom make a great couple. Remember,
wedding receptions need to have a comfortable flow from one activity to the
next. People want to keep things moving, and there may be more than one toast
that needs to be made. Photographers, disc jockeys, and caterers are often paid
on an hourly basis, so the bride and groom may have a vested interest in your
ability to be brief. Besides, the shorter your toast, the easier it will be for
you to remember.
Where do you fit In
Briefly mention your connection to the couple. Have you known the bride since
the fourth grade? Was the groom your roommate in college? People will want to
know how you fit into the scheme of things, and your connection to the couple
lends credibility to what you have to say.
Praise Both the Bride and Groom
Do include both the bride and the groom in your comments. Even though you may
be much closer to one than the other, be gracious enough to mention both in a
positive light. Even if you dislike one member of the couple or spent the night
before the wedding desperately trying to talk your friend/sister/cousin out of
the marriage, you need to be courteous to the couple. Once you’ve agreed to be
the best man/maid of honor/person of importance in the wedding, you’ve also
implicitly agreed to be supportive of the union. Absolutely no jokes about
divorce or how long the marriage might last.
Say It With the Right Body Language
Do watch your body language. Make sure you’re standing up straight and making
eye contact with the crowd, and be sure to divide your attention evenly between
the couple and the rest of the assembly. Don’t tuck your chin into your chest
and mumble or you may end up looking like a Neanderthal on the wedding video. If
you tend to fidget or gesticulate too much when you’re nervous, a champagne
glass in an obvious choice for something to hold in your hand. If all else
fails, keep one hand behind your back or in your pocket while you’re speaking.
Be Sober
Do lay off of the alcohol until your part in the reception is over. No one
wants to hear you slurring through a disjointed ramble about the first time you
fell in love. Even though a drink or two may make you feel more comfortable,
even a little alcohol can dull your senses enough to ruin an otherwise touching
speech. A wedding toast is not the time to give your tongue free reign.
If Only Someone Had Told Me to Be Discrete
Don’t mention anything that may be potentially embarrassing to anyone
present. This is not the time to tell everyone how great the groom was at
picking up girls in his college days or how drunk the bride was at her
bachelorette party. Any knowledge you have of the couple’s romantic life before
the wedding is strictly off-limits. This may be a way to get a cheap laugh, but
it’s absolutely inappropriate and may offend a lot of people. A good rule of
thumb: what would you want your grandmother hearing about you at your wedding?
If it’s crude or even questionable, leave it out.
No Inside Jokes
Don’t include inside jokes that only you and a few other
people will understand unless you like awkward pauses and blank stares. No one
likes to feel left out of a good time, and explaining the humor of the situation
to folks after you’ve already dropped the punch line may leave you with a “you
had to be there” kind of moment. If an anecdote isn’t funny on it’s own merit
forget about it. A good way to tell? Share the story with someone who wasn’t
there to experience it and see if you get a chuckle.
Give Thanks
Don’t forget to thank influential people in the couple’s
life, like parents and grandparents, for their contribution to the wedding. You
may want to ask the couple well in advance who they would like you to mention
(as long as they keep the list short.) Thanking a few key people will take the
attention off of you and put it where it belongs.
Exude Confidance
Don’t be nervous. In the scheme of the entire wedding (and certainly the
couple’s future together) what you say during the toast is a minor detail. If
what you have to say is heartfelt and brief, you’ll have no reason to worry.
Don’t hesitate to practice your speech in front of a mirror or with other people
until you feel comfortable. A note card with a few key thoughts stashed in your
pocket or purse as a backup is a good idea as well.
Rise To the Challenge
Don’t forget that it is an honor to be asked to give a toast. The couple has
faith in your ability to say something memorable and meaningful about their
union or they wouldn’t have asked you to do so. Treat the occasion and the
couple with the same respect that they have shown you.
A wedding toast is a wonderful opportunity to publicly express your feelings
to the people who matter the most to you. With careful composition and a little
practice, your contribution to the wedding day can be elegant, poignant, and
sincere, making the viewing of the wedding video in years to come a pleasant
experience instead of a painful one.