You are expecting your first baby. You've taken classes on childbirth, baby care, breastfeeding and first aid. You've accumulated lists of baby gear that you must have and your friends are planning showers. But, do you really know what to expect when you first get baby home? This guide will help you prepare for your first month home with your new addition.

Mental Preparation

It is important to note that your life is about to change dramatically. As much as you want this baby, you are unlikely to enjoy sacrificing your sleep, free time, and entire lifestyle. Prepare yourself for mixed feelings—you will undoubtedly love your baby, but you may also feel a sense of loss for the carefree life you lived before.

Waking constantly to feed and care for a baby is grueling, even when your baby is happy and content. Add the challenges of a fussy or ill infant, and the exhaustion can be too much for even the strongest parents. You will also be going through physical and hormonal changes after having your baby. Keep in mind that if you are experiencing frustration, anger or sadness, you should speak with your doctor and other people who support you to ensure that you have the help you need.

What can you do before the baby comes? In addition to familiarizing yourself with the changes you are about to undertake, make lists of the people you can call for help. Set up your bedroom to be as comfortable and soothing as you can, to give yourself some respite and peace when someone else is taking a shift with the baby. Finally, give yourself permission to have mixed emotions —it is possible to love a baby with all your heart while fervently wishing she would go away, or at the very least stop crying.

Supplies

Since you will probably not feel like shopping for more baby gear in your infant's first weeks home, it is wise to stock up on all the things you will need ahead of time. Certainly, you will need basic baby supplies before your baby comes home. While there are infinite items you can get for your baby, make sure you have at least the following things on hand before the birth:

• Diapers: plan on using approximately 10 diapers per day, so you will need at least 70 for the first week.
• Diaper ointment
• Baby blankets
• Somewhere for baby to sleep: a Moses basket, a bassinet or co—sleeper all work fine
• Bedding for wherever baby is sleeping.
• Simple baby clothes: t-shirts, pajamas, socks and a hat
• An infant thermometer
• A pacifier
• Soft cotton pads: many medical experts recommend not using diaper wipes the first month since babies' skin is so delicate. A soft cotton pad dipped in warm water can be used to wipe baby's bottom instead.
• A diaper bag to take gear with you.
• Bottles and formula, if you do not plan to breastfeed. Even if you do, you may want bottles so that you can pump milk for someone else to feed to baby while you sleep.
• A baby grooming kit –at least tiny nail clippers and a soft hair brush

With these items, you should be able to see to your baby's material needs for the first few weeks.

You may need a few supplies of your own once the baby comes. Consider stocking up on these items before you go into labor to make life a little easier later on:

• Nursing bras: at least 2
• Nursing pads: these go into your bra to soak up any breast milk that may leak
• Nursing pajamas or other easy to remove, comfortable lounging wear
• "Purelan" ointment for cracked, sore breasts
• Bottled water or other drinks easy to carry around and keep by your bedside
• Night light or dim light for the baby's room: you will not want to turn on a bright
• light during those middle of the night feedings
• Underwear: you already have underwear—but make sure you and every member of your family has enough to go at least 10 days without doing laundry —you'll be glad you did.

Your New Baby's Schedule

New infants eat every two to three hours. This means that by the time you get up, feed your baby, burp her, change her diaper, cuddle and sooth her back to sleep, you generally have less than two hours before the whole cycle starts again. When babies are a little older, they will gradually sleep for longer stretches and will adapt to day and night schedules. However, at this age, your baby has needs at all hours and you need to be there to see to them.

So, for the first month or two of baby's life, you are in survival mode. Whenever you are not feeding her, changing her or soothing her, you need to do the bare minimum of things you need to keep going. This means you either need to eat, drink, or sleep. Showering occasionally is good, too. Ignore the dust, clutter and other household annoyances. A clean house is simply not as important as the health of you and your baby. Remember that keeping the lights dim and stimulation minimal for those middle of the night feedings will eventually help teach your baby to sleep more at night.

Crying and Colic

Babies cry. They cannot talk, so crying is how they communicate. Often, babies cry to tell you they need something —food, a clean diaper or a snuggle. These cries are relatively easy to deal with since it feels good to solve the problem and sooth your baby's cry. However, sometimes babies cry for more complex reasons. If your baby is engaging in long periods of crying and cannot seem to be soothed or placated, you should consult with your doctor in case there is a medical problem. But, often the doctor will declare the baby to be completely healthy and suffering from colic.

What is colic? It is basically a catch all term for a condition where babies cry for prolonged periods and do not respond to standard soothing. In some cases, colic may be digestive distress, but colic is often thought to be a case of an underdeveloped nervous system. There is no cure. The best you can do is to try different things to soothe your baby—a swing, a bouncy seat, the stroller, being rocked, a vibrator on the crib—and keep reminding yourself that colic is temporary. Make sure you get help and breaks since the constant crying can be very stressful. It may also be worthwhile to try white noise or soft music; some babies find it soothing, and most parents do.

Taking Care of Yourself

While your number one job in these early weeks is to take care of your baby, remember it is critical to take care of yourself as well. You need to be in good health in order to be there for your baby. Eat and drink healthy foods on a regular basis. Try to sleep whenever you get the chance, even if it means turning away visitors and turning off the phone.

Rely on convenience services. Prior to having the baby, stock up on take out menus as well as non—perishables and frozen foods so you will not have to shop to have great quick meal alternatives on hand. Even better, in the month before the baby comes, cook a few freezable meals yourself –lasagna, soup, casseroles –and package them in small portions for reheating when you are exhausted and hungry. Investigate other local services that may be helpful when you are home with baby: does a local pharmacy or grocery store deliver?

When people offer to help you, say yes. Many independent women are quick to turn down offers of help, only to realize later they are in over their heads. Let friends do errands for you, bring your meals or just watch the baby while you hop in the shower. But, as great as help is, remember that if having visitors in your home is adding work or stress, it is also okay to let people know you just want to spend some time alone with your new baby. Discussing a good visit length before the baby comes can eliminate some of the problems before they ever occur.

Finally, just remember to stop and enjoy the moment. Smell your baby's head while he sleeps, take lots of pictures and know that soon this will all be a distant memory.