Considering that most people spend more of their time at work than anyplace else, it is inevitable that romantic relationships will develop in the office. Day in and day out, we work with attractive, interesting people who share common interests and goals. Certainly, mutual attraction is natural, and these relationships can, and often do, work out. In fact, a recent study found that nearly half of all working adults have been involved with a co-worker at some point, and that nearly 25 percent of these relationships are successful.

But there’s a down side to all of this. Sometimes relationships don’t work out, and the situation can get very uncomfortable for everyone concerned. Here are some questions to think about when you feel yourself beginning to fall for a coworker.

What is My Company’s Fraternization Policy?

Before you even think about going out with a coworker, first check your company’s employee manual to find out whether or not this is against company policy. If there is no written policy, speak with someone in Human Resources. Many companies have written in specific clauses dealing with interpersonal relationships, and you may find that this behavior is discouraged or downright forbidden. If fraternization is against company policy, it is reckless to consider a relationship with someone at work.

Is the Person I am Attracted to in my "Chain of Command?"

In some cases, relationships between people who are in the same "chain of command" are discouraged. In this situation, it is possible that, given a promotion, one of the parties might end up as the other’s direct supervisor. This is tricky in that these are probably the people with whom you work the most closely, and to whom you would most likely be the closest. But, if there is any chance that you may end up supervising this person, or vice versa, it is wise to not let anything develop other than friendship.

No doubt about it, dating your boss (or a subordinate) is a bad idea. Once word leaks of the relationship (and no matter how coy you think you are, it is bound to come out eventually) there will be ramifications and credibility questions. People in the workplace can be jealous and petty, and no matter how good a job you are doing, if your boss is also your boyfriend, any promotions or raises that you receive are going to be cause for gossip and resentment.

People in supervisory roles need to be fair and objective when dealing with subordinates. If there is a romantic involvement, certainly, there may be charges of favoritism and both parties will suffer in the long run. It just isn’t good business sense to get involved with someone for whom you work or who works for you.

What About Dating Someone With Whom I Don’t Work Directly?

In larger companies with many different departments, it is usually okay to date someone with whom you do not work directly. It’s nice to have someone to share your thoughts with during the day, and let’s face it, it’s good for your ego to have an admirer in the workplace. Just remember, you are there to work, and if you find yourself spending too much time visiting one another, it is going to reflect on your job performance. It is also a good idea to keep the relationship quiet, even in this instance. There really is no need to draw attention to your personal life, especially if you are in a position of authority. Your personal life should remain just that… personal.

What About Harassment Laws?

This is where the whole issue of dating someone in the workplace gets real sticky. Businesses are keenly aware of sexual harassment laws, and what may seem like an innocent flirtation might be taken the wrong way. There is a thin line between what is acceptable and what is not, and it is very important that all parties tread with caution. Overtly sexual gestures are always wrong, but sometimes, what one person sees as a friendly approach can be taken the wrong way.

The best approach is to develop a friendship first before attempting to take the relationship to another level. If you are attracted to someone at work, get to know him or her in a casual setting – perhaps at a company event or luncheon. If a group is going out after work and the person to whom you are attracted is likely to be there, be part of the group. Take is slow and easy, and make sure that the attraction is mutual. Be careful in situations where alcohol is involved, though.

Once you are fairly certain that the person is interested, make a lunch date. This will enable you to spend some time together one-on-one, but the period of time is not open-ended. If this goes well, and you are both comfortable with one another, the next step can be a more formal date. The key is to take it slow.

What About Marriage?

Some relationships, including office romances, do result in marriage. Two people meet, fall in love, and have a desire to commit to one another. As long as there is no policy against this, and if you have considered all the factors involved in taking this step, working together should not be a preventative. Many married couples have continued working together with no problems.

However, there is one consideration that should not be ignored. Two people working for the same company have, as they say, "all their eggs in one basket." If something unforeseen should happen, and the company were to close or have a layoff, both of your livelihoods could be at risk. Stranger things have happened. It is always a good idea to keep your options open and consider other opportunities that might become available. Discuss this with your future spouse, and make sure that you both understand the risk. If your company is stable, and you are a valued member of the team, you shouldn’t have a problem. However, you should always try to keep abreast of possible changes, and not ignore outside factors so that you both won’t be caught off guard.

What Happens if the Relationship Doesn’t Work Out

Ouch! This is probably the most important reason not to get into a relationship with someone at work. Breaking up is hard enough without having to deal with seeing the person who broke your heart (or vice versa) five days a week! What’s worse is that, once the story gets passed around the office, everyone is going to know, and there will almost certainly be tension between different factions. It can get downright ugly, actually, and be extremely detrimental to all parties concerned.

There is no way to predict whether or not a relationship is going to work out going into it. Some do and some do not. The only way to prevent to gossip is to try to keep the relationship low key. That way, if it doesn’t work out, it won’t be quite as big a deal for the office gossips. But there’s no way around this one that is comfortable. It is the risk you take in getting involved with someone at work.

Everyone has heard stories, or even witnessed inter-office romances that have gone bad. In some cases, the situation becomes so unpleasant that one or even both of the parties are asked to leave. Before you even get into this relationship, ask yourself whether or not it is worth your job. In the end, it could come down to that.

The "Don'ts"

There are some definite "don’ts" when it comes to workplace romances. If either you or the person to whom you are attracted is married, no matter how unhappily, stay away! It can be real easy to become involved with a married person, especially when you are working closely with that person; maybe even traveling with them, but the ramifications of this can be devastating. Extra-marital affairs in the workplace happen all the time, but this type of behavior is usually not condoned and could cost you your reputation, if not your job. It’s just not worth it.

Be careful using company email for personal correspondence. In most companies, the MIS department has access to all correspondence, and because email is considered a function of the company, they have the right to monitor all emails. Don’t write something that you wouldn’t want someone else to read. This does not reflect well on you, and can be a violation of company policy. Emails, taken out of context, can be quite embarrassing.

It should go without saying that any physical contact on the job should be avoided. It doesn’t matter how private your office, don’t put yourself in a compromising situation… ever!

Is an office romance right for you? Only you can decide, but by being aware of the risks involved can help you to avoid certain pitfalls.