Online dating is a popular new way to meet people. Read about the pros and cons of online dating and decide if it's right for you.
Meeting new people is not always easy. Meeting new people you actually like is even more difficult. Nevertheless, single people still try time after time, hoping that soon they will find good company and maybe even meet the love of their life. Adding to their hope, technology – specifically the Internet – has provided singles with faster, more convenient ways to test the water; online dating is an increasingly popular pastime. Indeed, online chat rooms and dating services do provide people with a relaxed way to meet people who are likewise single and have common interests.
While online dating does have its considerable advantages, it also has some drawbacks and even some potential dangers. Not everyone will have the same intentions and expectations as you, and you need to be prepared to handle the myriad of individuals you will meet. If you are interested in trying out a new approach to dating, weight the pros and cons of online dating before deciding is it is right for you.
The Appeal of Online Dating
The Internet is not just a new place to meet people; it is an entirely different way to meet people. Online dating is casual and convenient. You can chat to new people without making any sort of commitment. Instead of getting all dressed up to go to some bar, you can relax in the comfort and safety of your own home. You never have to meet any one in person if you do not want to.
If you are shy or even a bit socially awkward, online dating is even more attractive. It is much easier to sound suave while carefully typing a rehearsed introduction than while speaking in person or even over the phone. You are able to present yourself in the best possible way to make a great impression; you can even pick out the most flattering picture of yourself to post. There are no dangers of a bad hair day or an untimely break out in the online world.
While online, you can specify exactly what you are looking for, whether it’s a serious partner, a casual friend, or a one night fling. This is much more difficult to do in traditional dating scenes. Can you imagine accepting a invitation to a date by stating that you are looking for a serious, long term commitment? Online dating services have profiles that allow you to do just that, but without the social awkwardness and hint of desperation. With online dating, a lot of the mind games are not present. Unless, of course, that’s what you want.
The Problems of Online Dating
At the same time, online dating does have its share of problems. Just as you can make yourself look as good as possible, others can do the same. While chatting online, it is next to impossible to get an accurate idea of what a person is like. The people you talk to may even be lying about themselves, and the pictures they post could actually be of someone else. Until you meet someone in person, you do not really know much about them. Even if you are not actually lied to, it is still easy to imagine that someone is perfect based on their carefully prepared online postings, but then be disappointed when you meet the real person.
Some lies and misrepresentations may be more dangerous in nature. Con artists, thieves, and even sexual predators can pose as nice, average people online in order to meet new victims. Because the people they chat to might develop a false sense of trust and security, they can be especially vulnerable. To avoid these dangers, online daters should remember that the people they are chatting to are strangers. While dating online, you should never give out personal information, such as phone numbers, addresses, and schedules. You should avoid any one who comes off as creepy or pushy; trust your instinct. If you want to meet in person, pick a neutral, public location.
The Gray Area of Online Cheating
Online dating can seem incredibly casual and harmless; after all, there is no physical contact. Some people who are in exclusive relationships begin dating online even though they would never cheat in “real world.” Many of these online relationships might begin rather innocently, but sometimes full blown affairs develop out of them. Even if the relationship stays online, considerable damage can still be done.
Online relationships that take time away from committed relationships can be very hurtful, even if no physical contact is being made. And flirtatious banter can be hurtful, too. Even though online dating might seem safe and even less real than other types of dating, remember that there is a real person typing to you from another computer. And even if you do not consider your actions to be deceitful or unfaithful, your partner might. As a general rule of thumb, do not begin any relationships online that you would not be comfortable beginning at a bar. And if you feel the need to hide your conversations from your partner, you are definitely doing something wrong.
Is it Right for You?
Some people really enjoy online dating, and many very successful couples have met through an online dating service. And while dating via the Internet does present its problems, so do all types of dating. Even in the real world, people lie, cheat, and hurt others. Fortunately, most people are just looking for someone to be with.
If you currently date online or if you are considering trying out an online dating service, just remember that the people you chat to are real, even if they are not exactly what you imagine. Behave as you want others to behave. Do not be flaky, and do not lie about yourself; this will not help you meet anyone. At the same time, do not be overly trusting. People need to earn your trust, and this cannot be done online. Make an effort, keep realistic expectations, and have fun.