Men, you are our knight in shining armor, our best friend, our lover, our confidante. You are our traveling companion along life’s highway; you’ve seen us grow, change and prosper.

Without our man, we wouldn’t necessarily be a faceless, nameless woman without dreams, aspirations or drive – but life would sure be dull! However, through the years of a relationship a woman shares with a man, there are a few things that we want, and we want you to give it to us.

We’ve heard you say, “I just don’t understand women” countless times; we can be difficult beings to figure out. But, there are some things you can do to make your relationship better while understanding us a little bit more.

Number one – instead of offering solutions, just listen.

Men are problem solvers. They want to fix things to make things better for everyone, including the love of their life. But, there is a time and a place for problem solving, and you need to pay attention to when it is appropriate or not.

If a woman straight out asks you to help her find a solution – go to work! This is your chance to partner with your wife and make a difference, so take advantage of it. But, if she is telling you an issue she had at work or with the kids and doesn’t ask for your help with the matter, then you may just want to listen up.

Women have a need, a desire to be heard. This is one of the many differences between men and women; men tend to rehash daily issues in their head, decide the best way to prevent the issue from happening again, and then do it. Women, on the other hand, are much more vocal – they have to talk it out. Then we can decide how to solve the problem or prevent the issue from happening again.

Men, you know you aren’t doing a good job of listening if your woman won’t discuss things with you, and then spends hours on the phone with a girlfriend or family member. This is your clue to better hone in on your listening skills and become a sounding board for your woman. All you have to do is:

• Look her in the eye when she is talking to you

• After she pauses, let her know you were actively listening by saying, “so what you are telling me is…”

• Then, if you must, ask her how she thinks she can prevent this issue from happening again or how she plans on handling it if it does arise in the future

Doing this action of listening shows you really care about what she is saying, and it even promotes her to think about how to change the situation on her own. That is the key – she needs to come up with her own solutions, not have someone tell her what to do.

More than likely, she will find her way of dealing with the things on her mind, and may even ask you to chip in on helping her make the best decision.

Number two – we want you to want us.

A woman wants to be desired. It not only makes us feel sexy and beautiful (and possibly in the mood), but it is nice knowing the man we spend our life with is actually attracted to us even after all of this time.

Not that women have a low self-worth; but body changes that come with birthing children and age tend to weigh a little heavier on our minds than on a man’s mind. Women can allow these superficialities to force us to wear long pajamas to bed, turn off the light when being intimate and cover up their swimming suits with a long shirt.

So, instead of making her more aware of these changes, remind her that you find her more attractive now than when you first met. She has been your soulmate, gave you the gift of fatherhood and has been there every step of the way for you – and that is sexy in its own right.

Take that to the next level and kiss her neck when she is making dinner, whisper how gorgeous she is without a stitch of make up and her hair pulled back (just like when she was a teenager), feel her skin and remark how soft it is to the touch. These small gestures build up inside a woman’s mind and heart, and oftentimes, loins. She will believe you, and feel better about being in her own skin.

One more thing - when being intimate, explore her body like you did when you both were younger. Audibly remark how the curve of her hips makes you crazy, how her legs are both strong and sexy, how her neck calls out to you – you get the picture. Your talking fills her head up with images and takes her to a place where she is sexy, desired and safe. It proves for a great time in the sack too!

Number three – don’t just be our children’s friend, show some discipline.

Men, you can’t just be good cop; you have to play the part of bad cop too. Yes, us women know how hard this can be – we do it all the time, but we need you to actively support discipline with us – we can’t do it all alone.

There is nothing worse than a mother saying “no” and then the child goes behind her back and the father says “yes”. This completely overrides a mother’s authority, and makes a man look like an easy target – not to mention that it adds fuel to the fire in mom’s head, and can result in a very heated fight.

The best way to avoid this situation is to discuss discipline methods before having children. You both can agree on how your children should be raised, and have a plan going into parenthood. Deciding on discipline together is the only way a family can successfully thrive without major conflict.

But us seasoned parents know that even if you have a plan, it changes as children grow. And, together, you should decide how discipline will evolve during your child’s life span.

And, do her a favor – let her be good cop once in a while. She loves the kids just as much as you, and wants to hold a special place in their heart. It’s hard to say no all the time, so pick up the slack and help her say yes.

Number four – trust us, but a little jealousy can go a long way.

“Where are you going, what are you doing and when will you be back,” isn’t something a woman wants to hear every time she leaves the house. One of the cornerstones of a relationship is trust, and without trust you have a hard time giving the relationship your all.

With that said, remember number two? A woman wants to be wanted by you – but it doesn’t hurt to mention that a guy at the grocery store was checking her out, or “did you see that teenage boy ogling you?”

Let’s clarify something before going further - seeing other men appreciate your wife’s beauty should be thought of as a positive thing, not a reason to get into a fight. Yes, there are instances where a man may be completely inappropriate, and both your wife and you should remove yourself from the situation (no violence, please!), but there are also innocent glances from men admiring a beautiful woman, and should be taken as just that and nothing more.

And if you see those gazes, let her know. Women tend to be in their own little worlds in grocery stores, running errands and such, and don’t even notice when they are admired. While she may say “no they weren’t, you need to get your eyes checked,” deep down inside she likes that feeling, and her confidence soars.

And, admit it, it’s nice to know that other men find your wife attractive. It gives you a rush of “yes, she’s beautiful, and she’s all mine” – something that boosts your confidence as well.

Number five – be okay with our independence.

Women are very independent, and this makes some men uncomfortable. It stems from that whole men are the providers and women are the nurturers ideal from way back when.

Get over it. We are not out to take your jobs, reverse gender roles or make you feel less of a man. We just want our own piece of life too, and want you to appreciate the fact that your woman can do anything she puts her mind to.

Just as she is your cheerleader when you succeed in your professional life, she needs the same cheering section from you. Tell her how proud you are, encourage her to do more and tell her she can do anything. This, coming from her man, is one of the best things that can you can do to support her drive and ambitious qualities.

You may be asking why this is so important. Well, it is very hard for a lot of women to overcome the stigma of not just being a stay at home mother. Heck, even if she is a stay at home mother but volunteers like crazy and makes a difference in her community – she is doing something other than “keeping an eye on the kids and house” at all times.

But once we find that balance and let go of the guilt we feel for doing something that means a lot to us, it feels great! And we want to know that you think it’s great too. A small affirmation means the world to us, and we, in turn, will return the favor.

Number six – don’t take everything we do for granted.

Your laundry smells great and finds its way back into your closet and dresser, the lunch you take to work was packed with love, the house is spotless and “party-ready” for your football night, the family is packed and ready to go on that vacation – and you may not have even seen it happen.

This is something that a lot of women do – take care of it all. We are very organized creatures who like to see everything happen (can you say micromanager?) so we know that nothing is left out. And, men, you must admit that you like it. But, why don’t you show us that your appreciation and pick up a pan and cook something for dinner?

Okay, maybe that sounds a little rough – a lot of men today are taking care of household duties as more and more parents work full-time. You are not slighted, promise. You are respected by women all around the world – especially those women whose husbands still don’t know where to put the laundry or how to place the toilet seat in the down position. We love you, we really, really do.

But men, if you know that you don’t play an active role in helping around the house, then do something about it. Your wife has just as many responsibilities as you (if not more), so you have no excuses.

We love to see the floor vacuumed or the laundry put up. We get weak-kneed when supper is not only cooked but cleaned up too. These little acts make us feel great, and then we have a few extra moments to do what we want to do…maybe even meet in the bedroom? You never know what helping around the house will get you!

Number seven – show some interest in our lives.

She watches the game even though she can’t stand football, she goes fishing even when a shoe sale is beckoning to her – don’t you owe her the same respect?

This isn’t to say that a man should go along on his wife’s shopping sprees or learn every aspect of home décor, but you do need to show your wife that you are interested in who she is as a person and what she does because of her interests.

If she is an avid photographer, ask if you can be her subject; or better yet, grab a camera and suggest that you two go on a photography shoot together. If she is into theater, buy season tickets to the local theater house and attend at least one show with her. If she likes music, arrange a date to a great blues club. Showing her you care about her interests and actually participating right along side her means so much to a woman. And, you may just find you like it as much as she does.

Number eight – we don’t want a daddy, we want a partner.

There is nothing worse than hearing that a friend has to ask her husband before she can do anything. That isn’t a marriage; that is a parent-child relationship.

Women are their own person, and shouldn’t have to “ask” to do anything. Now women, don’t get carried away – it is always best that if it involves a major portion of finances or an interruption of a family trip or similar situation that you discuss it with your husband first. That is just common courtesy. But, if a woman wants to join her friends for a lunch date, she shouldn’t have to ask her man. She should be able to tell her man that she is meeting friends for lunch and will be back later.

Again, not all men are so possessive of their wives; but many feel that they must give permission or be asked to “watch” the kids when the wife leaves the house. Guess what, you helped make those beautiful children too – so keeping an eye on them isn’t a favor, but a responsibility.

Another thing to think about – do you ask you wife if you can attend the poker game or go fishing? Probably not. So, why would you expect her to ask when you don’t have to?

Men, pay attention to the next time your wife says she is going somewhere. If she asks “is it okay if I…” then you know that you may be a little too “daddyish” and you need to let her know that she doesn’t have to ask your permission. Show her that you don’t want to be her daddy; rather, you want to be her equal.

Number nine – we ain’t your mamma, so don’t hold us to her standards.

Is “my mom makes the best chicken,” or “mom always used XYZ brand of detergent because it smells the best” often muttered from your mouth? If so, you probably have a fed up wife.

Women and men alike have wonderful memories about how mom used to do it, but if you want it just like mom gave it to you, you may want to move back in with her.

Women try really hard, and they don’t need their husband to invalidate the way they handle the cooking, cleaning and child rearing. If you don’t like the way it is being done you have two options – you can discuss it with your spouse in a reasonable manner, or do it yourself. You didn’t marry your mom, so quit expecting her to show up to keep house the way you are used to. Doing this now will make your wife feel much better, and possibly prevent you from winding up in divorce court.

Number ten – we want hot sex too!

Women love great sex - “great” being the key word. We like the way it feels to have our husband touching us, kissing us, whispering sexy words in our ears and trying new things to keep it interesting.

What we don’t like is getting into bed expecting to get something out of it only to be done two minutes later. If this is a pattern, you may just lose your wife’s interest.

It is commonly known that women take a little more stimulation to arrive at that point where they can leave everything else behind and actually be present during lovemaking. We don’t want to think about the chores or the upcoming family reunion, but if you don’t give us a reason to think otherwise, then guess where we’ll be when having sex?

Pay attention to a woman’s signs – and work her up to wanting you. Not that she doesn’t want you already, but sometimes all the other day to day activities are so present that she needs you to call her back to that place where you can have fun together. Give her a reason to be there. Take your time, do those things she likes (you know exactly what they are) even if it takes longer than anticipated. Put yourself second and focus only on her and she’ll be screaming in no time. Then she’ll have the inclination to get you to that wonderful place too.

Doing these things for your wife helps you both grow closer sexually, and if she is the shy type, it can work her out of her shell to try something new. We know that the sex has to be good, and we have our own fantasies too. But being able to express them to our mate may be a little harder for us to do. That is why it’s so important that you show your wife that you want her to be sexually satisfied, and are willing to do anything to help her find that place of total euphoria.

With you, she wants to feel like a sex goddess, like she is the only woman who can offer you this wonderful intimate feeling. If you can get her there, you are in for the sexual ride of your life!

These tips may not cover exactly how a woman works or everything about a woman (there aren’t enough pieces of paper in the world to cover that topic), but it definitely gives a man some pointers on a few things they can do to aid in maintaining a strong relationship with the love of their life. As all women are not the same, all relationships aren’t either. Some of these tips may help, or may not apply. Take them for what it’s worth – even if they just act as a springboard for your own ideas on how to make your relationship stronger. Doing so will ensure your relationship is fulfilling, fun and meaningful for both your wife and you.