“Not that one,” I murmured to my husband as our three-year-old son singled out a sleek black kitten from a litter of four that scampered about his feet.

“But it’s the most playful!” he pointed out.

“I know,” I sighed. Lifting my voice I said gaily to my son, “Look at that little quiet one sleeping beside its mother.”

Steven barely glanced at it before scooping up the green-eyed baby he had claimed as his own.

Looking around the neatly kept family room of these strangers who were selling their six-week-old darlings for five dollars apiece, I could see the people who lived here cared for one other and their pets.

“They’re litter-trained and starting to eat kitty chow,” the middle-aged mom offered kindly from the doorway.

Mentally I notched a few more points for this candidate. At the last house the kittens stayed in a cardboard box on a messy porch that fronted a littered lawn. The scruffy man who had answered the door seemed annoyed by our questions. These people were pleasant.

“Are the kittens very active?” I asked. Some people let indoor pets climb drapes and straddle kitchen counters, but ours would not.

“They’ve just begun to climb,” she replied, “but I keep after them.”

Exchanging looks with my spouse, I said. “We’ll take the black male.”

‘Shadow’ has been with us eleven years now, more than earning his keep by patrolling our property for mice, moles, and chipmunks, and even the occasional snake. Avoiding most fights with other cats and faithfully grooming himself, Shadow is a perfect companion for our son with whom he has grown up. Now fifteen, Steve still plays tag with Shadow or sneaks him into the bedroom until I show our feline the door. Despite my initial worries that a male cat would claw, climb, run, or spray, Shadow has proven a charmer and become a bona fide family member. We are fortunate to have him, after working through a few negative experiences to find our gem.

Gains and Losses

First there was Shiraz, a beautiful white Persian whose curiosity drew him to explore the peak of the drapes and discarded paper bags. But with his refined pedigree came a delicate constitution. Shiraz was prone to digestive and urinary problems, and within a year he succumbed to a urinary blockage. No more purebloods for us.

Our next stop was the mall pet store where we picked out a kitten with unique striping. At home she was highly active, jumping from chair to sofa and scrambling onto the table and sink. She bit and clawed and mock-fought us to the point where no one could touch her without injury. Whether from her disposition or conditioning, we didn’t care for her aggressive personality and returned her to the store.

A year later we adopted a stray. She was good-natured and affectionate, and we planned to spay her when she reached a year old. Shortly before her first birthday she surprised us with a litter of five. Disappointed and yet excited, we found homes for all but one of the babies and scheduled a spay for “Tiger Lilly.” Late on surgery day the vet’s assistant called to say Tiger did not handle the anesthesia well.

“We’ll try to save her, but she’s filled with fluid.”

Poor Tiger died the next morning. As our eight-year-old daughter mourned, we agreed to keep “Josie,” the remaining tri-colored female. But when our sheltie began to bark and tease the kitten, Josie fled under the deck. Two days later she disappeared.

Providentially, Steven’s friend who had taken one of Tiger’s male kittens brought him back when it scratched his brother. “Timmy” settled right in, and since neutering, sticks close to home. These days Timmy and Shadow make an odd couple. Timmy has become the alpha male, but he tolerates the good ol’ boy. Both are dear to their owners—Shadow for Steve, and Timmy for Beth.

Finding the Right Fit

We learned a lot about choosing the right cat for our family, though no two pets are alike and family circumstances vary. Here are a few suggestions:

1. When getting a kitten from a family, does the mother cat appear healthy? If not, she may have passed a condition to her kittens. If she displays a bad disposition, her kittens may share that tendency. Play with and cuddle the babies to see how they respond.

2. When selecting from a breeder, look at the animal’s living quarters. Ask about possible inherited disorders or family history for conditions like feline leukemia and find out if the seller offers a replacement warranty within a certain time period.

3. At pet stores, note whether the kitten is active, oriented to people, and friendly with other cats. Kittens that are shy, quiet, fearful, or aggressive may not make good pets. Consider similar behaviors when visiting a community animal shelter.

4. Strays should be checked for worms, fleas, inbred, inherited, or communicable diseases and other disorders. For $30 a vet can test for FELV (feline leukemia virus) or FIV (feline immunodeficiency virus), which often is fatal. Males and females both can get urinary blockages, but more males die from it. Look for cat foods that are prepared with ingredients that help avoid this problem.

5. Teach children to handle kittens gently and to discourage pet behavior like biting and clawing. Indoor cats should be conditioned (perhaps with the help of squirt guns!) not to sharpen claws on furniture. It may help to separate kitty from Bowser and baby until all parties learn proper protocol.

Few pets are as fun as kittens. Take time to make the best choice for your children to ensure the best and lasting results for everyone.