If the mere thought of your boss’ face or voice makes you cringe under the covers Monday morning, you shouldn’t let yourself stew in workplace misery. It’s especially bad when your boss seems to dislike YOU the most. Was it something you said? Do you bear a resemblance to their ex? Sometimes if you can’t leave it at random chemistry, you over-analyze yourself and become unnecessarily critical of your work. If you can’t convince yourself there, then perhaps you’ve considered hiring an exorcist for your boss. It doesn’t have to be so mysterious though, sometimes it just takes a little more communication and a few tricks to figure out how to smooth out the situation. Try these tricks first…then crack open the yellow pages for that exorcist.
Each person is different, and so their expectations and idea
of what communication is differs as well.
Many times a rift with a boss is caused by clashing attitudes, though
granted many times people in charge are just well… mean. Don’t worry though, for every kind of boss
there is a possible communication technique that just might help.
The Tantrum-Thrower
It doesn’t seem to matter what you do or how well you do it-they
always complain and criticize it. You
often say to yourself "I am not a mind-reader!" Although many other people in
the office say you are doing a good job, the boss seems to be the only one that
doesn’t see it. While you probably ARE
doing a great job, you just aren’t doing it the way they like, and they don’t understand
how to instruct you. The most obvious
solution is to simply ask specific questions on the task, "Would you like me to…" etc. If they respond vaguely or negatively to your queries, try more roundabout
approaches. If it’s a longer project,
give updates on it via email, memos, or quick, casual chats. This will provide them with an opportunity
to see where you are going with it and make comments along the way. Plus, if they do not criticize the
progression of the project, they don’t have much ground to denounce the entire
product since they knew where it was headed.
Try not to make as many assumptions or decisions with these types of
people.
If there is a chance for you to "go ahead" with something on your own
when they are out of the office for example, try dropping them a line and
asking that key question "Would you like me to…while you are away?" Sometimes this extra question makes all the
difference, making them more at ease with their authority and your initiative.
If they still seem to criticize you without reason and throw hissy fits, don’t
fight too hard, they will only fight harder back. Your best option in this case? Consider
moving on…
The Condescending Critic
Whenever you finish something, they always have to go over
it with fine-tooth comb. They think they are the head spell-checker and grammar
authority, even when things look alright, they find a way to change it. You end up feeling belittled and annoyed that
they don’t trust your ability to do a job right. How can anybody ever do better if their boss
doesn’t even trust them with the simplest of tasks? This boss may not necessarily have a direct
judgment on you, instead they may merely be poor with assessing people, and
more task-oriented. Perhaps they trust
other employees and are still unsure or just too busy to make up their mind
about fully trusting your abilities.
Stand up for your talents and competency by speaking up to him/her. Ask for small forms of independence and
leadership with a task. Set a time frame
where you will be completely in charge of a task for example the week, and ask
that they assess your abilities then. A
good way to phrase this is making a firm, casual comment in your interest, then
segueing into asking for the responsibility, ex. “I’d like to try my hand at
writing the HR emails. Could I do it my way for the next week and we’ll see how
it goes?” Your boss gets the message
that you are ready to take on responsibility and you have a plan of action. He
or she also sees that they have a chance to still check up on you. They will probably be glad to lessen their
labor load (all that time they take staking out your work) and also be able to
focus on the great abilities you have at the end of the week. Don’t be confrontational, make this a natural
suggestion they won’t want to shy away from.
If they aren’t interested or are quick to dismiss you, try asking again
but more assertively to really bring across your interest.
Makes You Feel Invisible
Everyone else seems to get feedback, praise, constructive
criticism, or just plain attention. What
about you? Make sure to prick your ears
up and listen to your co-workers, what kinds of things is the boss saying to
them? If you are an office hermit, you
could just chalk it up to being considered unapproachable, even to your
boss. In most cases however, a boss may
avoid talking just to you if they fear confrontation. If this is so, they may likely be
dissatisfied with your work. Approach
them directly and honestly, tell them in person or via email "I want to do my
best. What can I improve on?" By saying
this you are allowing them to give you feedback without having to feel they are
attacking you. Asking this may be key to
fixing a problem that could have cost you the job. If this question seems too
bold, try asking for feedback on a specific task they are overseeing. Opening a positive channel of dialogue with
them is a great step to improving any relationship, even if you don’t
particularly like them, or vice versa.
The Slave Driver
Every time they see you they seem to have a new job for you
to do. It feels endless, and most importantly, it’s overwhelming. If you are on
overload, you can’t put up with it much longer, your work-quality is bound to
go down! (Or already is.) Your boss
probably does not realize how much work he/she is giving you, or how much you
already have. Nobody just wants the job
done, they want it done right. Make it
clear that your workload is already full and that you are pushing quality
standards. Take a deep breath. You have to do this tactfully. You probably want
(and deserve) to shout "I’m busy, really busy you insensitive jerk! Do your own
work! That’s not my job!" -- but don’t, hold back.
This won’t get you anywhere.
Realistically, telling your boss "I’m busy" or "It’s not my job to do
that," is a bad idea. They will likely
get fed up with it or take it the wrong way. Saying "I have a lot on my
schedule, do you have 15 minutes to help me sort out which tasks are most
important?" is a good way to approach this. If you are certain they will answer
rudely "It’s ALL important," try something more general like "Do you have 15
min. to help me go over some of these tasks? It’d really help me out." In the course of helping you sort this out,
he/she will begin to understand how much you have going on. If asking this in the middle of the workday
is impossible, find the time when it’s convenient to do so for your boss. Setup an appointment if necessary. Make sure
to go over your workload with them in person so they can’t ignore you with a
quick email or memo. Setup a set amount
of time so that they can’t run off or brush you aside. Having this time with them also allows you to
drop important hints or comments they need to know, especially if they are
assigning you work you aren’t equipped to handle.
The New You
Let’s face it-most bosses aren’t going to be people you’ll
love and adore. Instead of getting wound
up, take a step back and give it another try with a new mindset. Adapting to new people, work styles, and workplaces
is key to having a great resume and career. Don’t give up on yourself or your
boss! These tips are just a start to
thinking differently about that scary higher power, and the beginning to a better career life.