Baseball has long been referred to as “America’s pastime,” but there’s a formidable contender vying for the same title: shopping. We live in an undeniably shop-happy society, where people routinely live above their means just to get the high that comes from making a purchase. We want more stuff and we want it instantly, and the stores are more than happy to oblige – or indulge – with enticing sales, later hours, free shipping, no down payment, extended credit, or other perks that make it oh so easy to get our shopping fix.

It’s true that shopping is a necessity; it’s something that absolutely everyone has to do at one point or another. And most people, while they enjoy it, don’t go overboard. Almost everyone will at some time make an impulse buy … but not at the risk of running themselves into the hole financially. At times like these, when we go out to get a rake and end up with a new patio set, we may jokingly admonish ourselves for our “shopaholic” tendencies. It’s a term that gets tossed around and used loosely, in an off-handed manner, but the truth is that there are real shopaholics out there. Compulsive spending isn’t a joke; it’s no laughing matter. For many people, it’s a fact – and it can make a person’s life miserable. Could you be an actual shopaholic?

What is compulsive shopping, and what causes it?

Compulsive shopping can be defined as excessive, out-of-control, and inappropriate. Just like any other addict, compulsive shoppers do so because they cannot stop themselves. They feel that they have to shop; it’s a lack of control over their impulses. It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly what causes it originally, but shopaholics will go on sprees to compensate for emotional distress they may be experiencing, and use shopping as a coping and soothing mechanism. People with this kind of problem get a genuine high from buying things – it causes feel-good chemicals such as endorphins and dopamine to be released in their brains, reinforcing the behavior.

How can I tell if compulsive shopping is a problem? There are several ways to distinguish between regular, normal, once-in-a-while shopping binges and true compulsive shopping. Real shopaholics:

• Get a feeling of euphoria after a spending binge, which then gives way to guilt, shame, or embarrassment.
• Buy way more than they intend to, such as meaning to buy one outfit and coming home with a new wardrobe.
• Don’t recognize the boundaries of a budget, often spending far beyond their means and putting themselves into massive debt.
• Are chronic spenders, continually purchasing items – not just an occasional spending spree.
• May feel compelled to hide their problem, especially if someone close to them has expressed a fear about it. They may have secret credit card accounts that a spouse isn’t aware of until the debt is so overwhelming that the shopaholic has no choice but to admit to it.
• May own up to making purchases, but lie about how much those purchases actually cost.
• Feel a loss of control, knowing deep down that there’s a serious problem, but feeling powerless to stop it.
• Suffer from impaired relationships. They may spend excessive time away from home shopping, or isolate themselves from friends and family in order to hide their addiction and avoid someone questioning them.
• Are caught in a “circle” of sorts: they dramatically overspend and put themselves deeply into debt, so they feel bad. Since they feel bad, they dramatically overspend to make themselves feel better – and then they feel bad again, so they spend again.
• Usually use credit rather than cash, so that the amount they’re spending isn’t readily apparent until the statement comes in the mail.
• Feel lost and helpless without their credit cards, and bitterly unhappy when they try to curb their spending habits.
• May have closets and drawers full of items that they’ve bought and never even worn, opened, or used.

What can I do to get help?

True shopaholics will not be able to kick the habit alone: they require professional help. First things first – admit that you’re facing a problem, and gather a support system around you. Admitting it, and asking for assistance, is half the battle! Realize that this is a serious problem, as serious and overwhelming as addiction to drugs or alcohol, and that it’s going to take a lot of time and effort – and a genuine desire to change – to remedy the situation. You can find help at any clinic or psychologist that deals with addictions, even if their main clientele is predominantly made up of substance abusers; if they don't deal with compulsive shopping, they will certainly know where to direct you. Or you may simply ask your family healthcare provider. Professionals may administer medications such as antidepressants to combat the underlying emotional problems, and possibly combine the treatment with traditional cognitive-behavioral therapy. In worst-case scenarios, you’ll need to turn over your finances to someone else to control for a while, with the help of a credit or debt counselor. And even after receiving treatment, you’ll still be tempted sometimes; there’s no magic cure for any sort of addiction, only ways of learning to manage it effectively and keep it under control.

I’m not exactly a shopaholic, but I would like to gain better control of my spending. How do I go about it?

There are several ways to keep your spending habits in check:

• When you shop, use cash, not credit. Set an amount that’s within your budget and stick to it; that way you’re more accountable for what you’re forking over, and when it’s gone, it’s gone. Leave your ATM and credit cards, and checkbook, at home.

• Be strict when you budget, allowing yourself a certain amount to spend frivolously each month – but don’t allow yourself to purchase anything that isn’t on the budget. Put it on paper so you have a hard copy to look at.

• Be aware of where you’re spending! Keep a list of every single penny you spend for two weeks, so you can see exactly where your money is going.

• Consult a credit or debt counseling service. These are great for helping to consolidate your credit debts and get you back on track.

• Learn to differentiate between wants and needs. Purchase far more items from the “needs” category.

• Don’t shop, swap! Chances are that you have things you don’t use or need any more, and your friends do, too. Organize a swap day and see what new treasures you can amass for free!

• Use your designated monthly “mad money” to shop at flea markets and yard sales. That way you’ll get more items for a more budget-friendly price.

• Shop with a friend or relative that will hold you accountable for your spending; make them aware of how much you have to spend, and tell them not to let you overspend – no matter how much you beg and plead.

• Cut down on impulse buys by imposing a mandatory waiting period on yourself. Tell yourself that you can have it only if you wait a certain amount of time – say, a week or two. Stores will often put items on hold for you if you’re worried about it selling out. Waiting to buy it allows you to think and rethink the purchase, and determine whether or not it’s actually something you need.

• Consider giving homemade gifts instead of always buying them. Cookies, homemade jams and jellies, or even homemade bath salts are always appreciated. If you feel like you’re not talented enough to make something from scratch, offer your time: a free night of babysitting, a day of gardening help. You can even draw up a cute little coupon and present it to the person. Don’t feel embarrassed, because your services could be invaluable!

External Links:

• Way2Hope - Find information about shopping addiction and treatment options here.
• Addiction Information - An informative UK-based site where you can learn about shopping addiction, among many others.