Singleness can be extremely difficult when you have not chosen it freely. Our society is family-centered and assumes that people live in multi units rather than single units. Phrases like "Family fun", "Family Day" and "Focus on the Family" seem to peek at us everywhere. Family members and acquaintances may pressure single people to find a partner. Even food is packaged in huge "family" packages. All this makes singleness seem the worse way of life, and certainly won’t make the single person feel better. Despite these things, coping with singleness is not impossible. Here are 10 tips for surviving the single time in your life.

1. Map out what you want

That's right; write down on paper (or just make clear to yourself) the kind of partner you're looking for. Jot down both qualities that are important to you and qualities that you would not like to see in your future partner. When you have a clear picture of what you want, it is easier to avoid pitfalls and bad relationships that will end up in ruins.

However, think carefully about the things you mark down. For example, it is not wise to decide the eye color, height, weight, or profession of your future mate, because that would limit your vision and even make you miss possible partners. Those things, while surely important, are often the things that suddenly seem to matter the least when people fall in love. The things that are worth jotting down are life goals and personality types. If you are an artist who enjoys irregular life and often acts on impulses, a very systematic, orderly person with a 9am-5pm career might not be your best match. Similarly, if you want a large family, you may not want to date a person who hates messiness and noise (or small children!).

2. Prepare yourself

Don't just sit and wait for Prince/Princess Charming, but be active in preparing for a relationship in advance. Think about the things and situations in your life that might cause conflicts with a partner, and try to work out solutions for dealing with them. For example, the highlight of your year might be a traditional Thanksgiving turkey at your parents' mountain house, but what if your future partner prefers fish and absolutely despises mountain air? How far would you be willing to give in? It is worth it to find and consider such points already when you are single.

3. Don't push yourself

Sometimes you may hit such a low point with your singleness that even seeing couples and families feels hard. Parties and gatherings become a nightmare when you feel so alone, surrounded by loving couples and happy kids. This is normal and happens to all singles who wish to find a mate. Even though singleness shouldn't become such a burden that it paralyzes normal life, you don’t have to intentionally push yourself in painful situations either. If you are inclined to self-pity (and self-pity -related eating, i.e. binges), it is better to avoid dreaded "couple" situations than go with clenched teeth and dive into a chocolate pity party afterwards.

4. Pamper yourself

As long as you're single, you have the advantage of being able to spend your income as you wish. Now is the time to be a little selfish, to pamper yourself. When you have a partner and perhaps kids, the collective needs of the family must go ahead of yours, and you may have to give up on various things. Buy that DVD -set now, order that hobby magazine, take that trip to Italy. You deserve it.

5. Spend time enjoying yourself

Similarly to pampering yourself materially, spend time doing what you enjoy. When you have a partner and kids, your personal “me” -time will be limited. MUCH limited. You won't have time to spend all night building that model or chatting hours at that message board. Now is the time to do that.

6. Use the freedom

Singleness isn't such a bad thing in some aspects. One of them is freedom. You are free to do whatever you please whenever you please. In a relationship everything is a compromise, including how to spend your time. When you are single, you are free to sleep till noon if you wish. Use this freedom now and enjoy it. When you have children, you will look back to these days longingly!

7. Avoid self-pity parties

Work actively to avoid self-pity. It is a hard thing to conquer, especially if you feel that everybody else around you is pairing up except you. But remember, self-pity and negative feelings reflect in you physically. It is a very subtle thing, but it is there and people notice it. You are much more attractive when you try to stay positive and expect good things in life.

8. Don't jump into desperate relationships

Singleness might feel truly awful at the moment, but don't jump into comfort relationships. By comfort relationships I mean relationships with people with whom you know things won't work in the long run. A fling might provide a short moment of comfort, but it will likely lead to even more hurting. Desperation is one of those things that show, too, and desperate people are easy to use. Don't allow yourself to be used when you feel low about your singleness.

9. Avoid the "Singles’ Eye"

Many singles are plagued with the so-called "Singles’ Eye". This means scanning every suitable looking person's finger for a ring, checking whether they are "taken". It can get very tiring and consuming after a while. Try to adopt an attitude of welcoming opportunities rather than hunting them. Make a conscious attempt to avoid looking at the marriage finger of the people you meet, and concentrate on their face instead. If this person won't be your future partner, that's fine. Someone more suitable will come along. Be open to different situations and people, you never know who might steal your heart.

10. Keep up the hope

Lastly, keep up the hope. You might feel that you're the last single on the globe, and that you will never find anybody. Know that this is not true. The world is, amazingly enough, full of singles of all ages, looking for a loved one. Keep your eyes open and your mind optimistic. Who knows, True Love might be waiting for you around the next corner.