One of the things that a new mother-to-be often looks forward to is a baby shower, or even more than one. This helps her to pass the time while waiting for the "main event," the birth of her baby.

How to Begin?

If you are hosting a baby shower, the first order of business is to make a list of things you will need to buy, do, or assign for others to do. Don't allow it to turn into a stressful situation for you or it will not be as successful as it would be if everything is planned far enough in advance.

Who Plays Hostess?

Who should host a baby shower? In the past, it was proper etiquette for only people not in the new mom's immediate family to host her baby shower. Things have fortunately changed, however, and now her family members can certainly host her shower while remaining inside the bounds of etiquette.

The Whens and Wheres

When will the shower take place? Decide as early as possible when you want the shower to occur. This is totally up to the hostess, but you need to remember that many of your guests will have different work schedules, so a weeknight, or especially a weekday will not be the best choice. Many showers of this type are held on a Friday night, any time Saturday, or a Sunday afternoon. Most showers last about two hours but could go shorter or longer depending on the food choices, game choices, and the number of gifts that will need enough time to be opened.

Where will the shower take place? This will be dependent on how many guests you will be inviting, what an easy location is for out of town guest to find, and whether or not you will be renting a place or using space that you or someone donates for the event. For smaller groups, hostesses often decide to hold the event in her home.

Other Odds and Ends

Will the mom-to-be know about the shower? There are pros and cons to both ways, but more and more expectant moms now prefer to know about a planned shower. There are various reasons but some of them include making sure she doesn't have other plans for the day of the shower, being able to suggest names for the guest list, and being afforded the dignity to "dress up" for this important event in her life. It has been a stress to many new moms to have their husband or partner jump up and suggest getting ice cream or something and going with him in old sweats, only to find him dropping her off at her baby shower. Another good reason for knowing about the shower would be that it would allow the mom-to-be to rest before the gathering so that she can feel her best on party day.

Will you plan the shower for before the baby is born, or after delivery? This will be something that the guest of honor will be able to state her wishes about, if it is not a surprise party. You will find that it is truly a 50% chance she will choose one way over the other. Many expectant parents enjoy having the baby things before the birth so that they can arrange the nursery, and better prepare for the birth. It gives them a chance to know what they will need to buy before the tiny new family member comes home from the hospital. On the other side of the coin, many people prefer waiting until after the birth so that the guests will be able to choose more gender specific gifts for the baby.

Also concerning the timing of the shower, keep in mind that due dates and births are rarely precise. If the shower is being held before the birth, 4 to 6 weeks before the due date is a good time frame. If you are holding the shower after the birth, remember that babies can be late as well as early, so about three weeks after the due date is a good idea for the timing.

How will you record this event for the mom-to-be? It's not up to the hostess to provide a photographer or video person for the event, but you may want to make it your gift, along with the shower, for the guest of honor. It only involves someone, maybe even one of the guests, agreeing to take plenty of pictures, or a home video of the event. The mom-to-be will get the pictures when they are developed or the video right away, or perhaps after it is copied, should anyone else want a copy of it.

Food and Fun!

What food options will you choose? There are a few choices here. The decision will most likely come down to the budget that you wish to expend. A full catered sit-down meal is of course quite expensive, and if you cook the food as hostess, it is a tremendous amount of work. Therefore, the choice of many hostesses is to serve basic party foods such as cake, chips, nuts, perhaps sandwiches, vegetable and dip, punch, etc. Another option is to make the shower into a potluck meal with each guest asked to bring a covered dish, but generally it's just a "party foods" type of shower that is chosen.

Will the expectant father be invited to the baby shower? Years ago this question would have produced a smile while the person asked would say a resounding "no!" Things in this area have changed as well and now men are often invited to and welcomed at baby showers. It is dad's baby, too, after all! The thing to remember if it is a mixed shower is to plan your games accordingly because all of dad's friends won't be comfortable with something like a diaper changing relay race.

Games and Prizes

What kinds of games and prizes will be offered for the guests? You should choose two or three games for the guests to play, and they should have some kind of baby theme connected to them. If this is "look at the items in this container for 30 seconds and then make a list of all you remember" type of memory game, the items should be small things connected to babies such as a diaper pin, bootie, pacifier, etc. Use about 20 items, but more if you are worried about ties. Quickly make sure your winner actually named things that were shown and didn't just think they saw a certain item because it is connected to babies. If you do a word find game, such as "how many smaller words can you get from this larger word or phrase" the larger word should have a baby theme also.

Prizes (including the door prize should you offer one) should be usable by either men or women if you are having a mixed shower. If it's a ladies-only shower, you can use things such as perfumed soap, bath items, candle, and so on. Again, your budget will dictate what kind of prizes will be given. Gifts for either gender could include things such as food gifts or gift certificates.

Handling Gifts, and Last Minute Considerations

When will the baby's gifts be opened? This can be at any time during the shower, but as the last activity is generally preferred. If you want to have the guest of honor open her gifts before the food is served, that is fine, too.

Are there any other things that might be forgotten while planning the shower, thus causing stress? Yes, another thing to plan concerns the decorations that you will want to use. Order or buy them enough in advance so that it won't become a last minute stress. Don't forget to have some kind of guestbook available. This is where someone will record which gifts were given by whom, and you may also want to pass it around at the shower. That allows guests to write some words of wisdom for the new parents.

Be sure to get the invitations out in plenty of time. Some hostesses will call guests with a verbal invitation, but it is always a good idea to have the time and date in written form. This does not have to be sent on expensive invitations, even computer generated is fine, but it assures that guests will not forget when and where the shower is being held.

Other things that may be forgotten in the shuffle include making sure you will have enough seating space and chairs available, buying your tableware, plates, and cups early, and deciding whether or not you will be giving party favors.

First and foremost, be sure that you give yourself enough time to plan all this out leisurely and you will assure an enjoyable occasion for both you and the new mother.