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by Devrie Paradowski July 01, 2005

Differences in Body Language

Despite the contemporary taboo to place men and women in specific gender roles, societal influences are somewhat reflected in the way men and women communicate non-verbally. From childhood, women are taught to be demure. They take up as little space as possible by crossing their feet, folding their hands on their laps, and keeping their limbs close to their bodies. In contrast, men assume relaxed positions with their legs apart. When men are standing, they will keep their stance further apart then women, and when they lean against something, they will take on a larger angle. In general, women will naturally assume what is called a ‘closed’ position. Folded arms and feet give a non-verbal cue of non-interest.

Since men are natural space-hogs and naturally assume ‘open’ positions, their non-verbal cues may be somewhat forthcoming to women.

Differences in Facial Expressions

Women are more likely than men to stay focused on a speaker’s face. They will watch for emotional cues, and sometimes mirror the speaker’s expression to show that she is paying attention. Psychological studies using images of various faces have shown that women are much quicker than men at recognizing emotional features of facial expressions. In contrast, men are less likely to look at a speaker’s face. Verbal responses to facial expressions are minimal for men. Men will normally look at a speaker’s face only to gauge appropriate timings for responses. Because of these differences, a woman might assume that the man is not paying attention to her, and may internalize his non-verbal cues to mean that he is really not interested in her. She may simply stop speaking and close herself to him.

Another response that a woman might have to the perception that he is not really listening to her is to repeat or clarify herself. Her repetitions and clarifications will create a persona of someone to rambles, or talks too much.

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