Although over 90% of abusers are men, women have also been
guilty of domestic violence. Abuse can occur during a relationship or after the
relationship has ended. Domestic abuse affects families of all educational
backgrounds, religions, races, and socio-economic conditions. The abuser may
seem perfectly normal to his friends, neighbors, and co-workers. However, he
has a ‘need’ to control others, and he has convinced himself it is his ‘right’
to be in control. An abuser will blame his partner for his abuse and also
minimize the impact, claiming she is ‘blowing everything out of proportion.’
Some believe their partner to be their ‘property’ and therefore are obsessively
jealous. Another sign of an abuser is cruelty not only to humans, but to
animals as well.
Signs of Domestic Abuse
The following are signs of both verbal and physical domestic abuse:
Victim is socially isolated
Victim has bruises, broken
bones
Victim’s fear of the abuser
Victim’s defensiveness of
abuser
Victim’s justification of
abuser’s violence
Victim is depressed/has low
self-esteem
Victim has frequent absences
and is late to work
Victim has an inability to
work
Victim has a lack of trust in
others
Victim experiences anxiety
attacks
Effects on Children
Whether children are victims of domestic violence or of just
witnessing it, they are affected. They may become violent themselves, or they
may withdraw within themselves. They may also have low self-esteem. As they
age, these children are more prone to use illegal drugs, commit crimes, have
behavior problems in school, and commit suicide. Later in life, they may become
abusers themselves. Many times a victim will stay with the father of her
children ‘for the sake of the children.’ If the father is an abuser, removing
the children from the situation would be more beneficial.