Life is complex with its uncertainties, obstacles, failures, and
dysfunctions, but one of the best aspects of humanity is the ability to think
and take action. It seems in this pursuit of “wholeness” people are abdicating
their responsibility for personal growth to others, so that if things do not go
as they planned they have someone else to blame.
Let us take Susie for example; her father had been a functioning alcoholic
in her youth. She became aware that her father had been an alcoholic after he
had been sober for over twenty years and she was well into her adulthood. When
she found out, she insisted upon going to a support group to air out every
wrong he ever did. She is progressing through her steps, except that she
divorced her husband who did not agree with her changes, started dating
alcoholics, and has given seven years to an organization that she now says she
cannot get out. She considers them her “life.” Susie spends four to five days a
week with this group and has now taken up telling others about the program.
Where is the harm? The group has replaced her real family and friends.
What is unusual about Susie’s story is that most of the people who attend
any meetings about a family member’s addiction are generally teenagers, going
about their parents, or spouses going because their spouse was the issue.
As noted, her attraction to this self-help culture did not take place until
things were going bad well into her adulthood. She has regressed to childhood,
blaming her father for her mistakes and using his former addiction against him.
Are We Gullible or Desperate?
The popularity of the self-help books and seminars suggests a serious gullibility
among their mainly well-educated, middle-class readership. People open
themselves up to charlatans with no qualifications; some who are looking to
part people from their money and others who want their worship.