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How To Deal With Nightmare Neighbors 
 
by Iris Blasi May 20, 2005

Talk it Out

Are your neighbors truly intent on making your life hell? Or do they simply have a habit that happens to be irritating to you?

There is a good possibility that your neighbors are not aware of their bad behavior. For example, they may have previously lived in a neighborhood where people were not vigilant about picking up after their dogs, so they might not understand that the little gifts Fido leaves behind on your lawn are unwelcome presents.

Yes, there are truly awful and terrible neighbors out there, but those are most certainly the exception and not the rule. Perhaps your neighbor doesn’t realize how loud his early-morning drilling really is.

It’s entirely appropriate to knock on their door and calmly mention your problem. If you don’t feel comfortable confronting the neighbor in person, then sit down and write a polite note. In either situation, don’t ramble on or be overly apologetic. Keep your complaint concise and to-the-point. You can be assertive and clear about your needs while still maintaining absolute courtesy.

In all likelihood, your neighbor had no clue that what they were doing was so bothersome to you. A civil conversation or a respectful note may be all you need for them to adjust their behavior.

Talk is Cheap. I Want Them Out.

If talking fails, it is time to take action. These people did not respond to a polite request from you, so perhaps they need a little nudge from an official warning. Patience is indeed a virtue, but too much patience merely makes one a sucker. You need to stand up for yourself and, if your neighbors have taken no heed of your gentle warnings, it’s time to be more aggressive.

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