We have five senses: sight, touch, hearing, smell, and taste. When writing, it is helpful to explore as many of the senses as possible. Smell and taste in particular are underused.
Let’s continue with this:
She watches the sun set.
What else might “she” be sensing as she watches the sun? Perhaps she hears the final few bars of a bird’s song, or the first rough, high notes of a cricket. If she is sitting in the grass, the coolness of the earth might make her shiver. Maybe she is brushing her fingers over a few soft dandelions. She could be chewing on a bit of honeysuckle, relishing its small sweetness, or catching the faint aroma of leaves being burned by a neighbor two blocks away.
The amount of detail you use determines the speed of the action: the more words used to add detail, the slower the action. You might want the entire poem simply to describe a moment, replete with imagery and sensual detail; but you may also include a great deal of information in a small number of lines by choosing your words carefully.
Let’s look at one possible example based on our work so far:
She watches the sun set, and
her fingers gently brush the
bright green grass
as she breathes
the faint aroma of
burning leaves.
There are three senses present in six lines: sight, touch, and smell. With a little reworking, we can use fewer words and change the tone of the poem:
She watches the sun set.
Her fingers brush gentle grass;
faint, burning-leaf scent
finds her breath.
In the first example, “she” is the subject of all the action. In the second example, we get rid of an unnecessary adverb—“gently”—and create a new subject for each sense: “She,” “fingers,” and “scent.” This way, we see the watcher being a bit carried away by her environment. She seems less in control and the poem’s tone is more ambiguous and mysterious.