Encourage your kids to tell you how they feel about the divorce.

While your kids may not be ready to talk about the divorce right away, both parents should be available for whenever kids are ready to let you know how they’re feeling. In many cases, children begin to act out at home or school to express their frustration or confusion about the divorce, and if you notice this, address is as gently as possible. Reassure your kids that you will listen whenever they’re ready to talk, and don’t try to censor them. What they say may hurt your feelings at times, but it’s essential that your kids know that both parents still love them and value their feelings and opinions.

Don’t force your child to choose one parent over the other.

Make a point not to speak negatively about your spouse in front of your children. And, don’t confide in your children about the divorce. This forces children to take sides. Your kids need to know that the divorce is not their fault, and that they have nothing to do with their parent’s separation. It’s best to speak to people in your own age group who have been through the same experience. Also, don’t try to ‘win’ your children’s affection by spending more money on them than your ex, or not giving them as many rules to follow. Many parents do this to cover the guilt they feel for hurting their children, but this will only confuse things, and may cause your children to resent you when they’re older.

Divorce is hurtful and awkward in any family, and making sure that your children know that they come first is the best way to maintain a great parent/child relationship. While all children are affected by divorce, it is still possible to create a healthy family environment in which a child know he or she has two wonderful parents who still make family their top priority.