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Bullies and Self-Defense 
 
by T. Sweeney August 11, 2005

Forms of Bullying

Bullying comes in many forms. It can be verbal – name calling, threats, ugly remarks; it can be physical – hitting, tripping, kicking, attacking from behind, taking a purse or other belongings, knocking books to the ground; it can be social – the child may be ignored, left out of the group, talked about by the group, told they have “cooties”; or it may be psychological – playing mind games with the child, giving them dirty looks. All these are different from rough housing or teasing in that they become constant, daily and do not stop.

Signs That Your Child is Being Bullied

Since bullying often happens out of sight, away from everyone, if your child doesn’t tell anyone, it may not be easily noticed. If your child has trouble in school, avoids going places, says he doesn’t want to ride the bus or attend after school events, if they have bruises they can’t explain, if they are losing a lot of items and can’t readily tell you what happened, if they are having pains and sickness often, if they seem depressed or mad a lot, it’s possible they are being harassed by a bully.

Would Your Child Report Bullying?

It’s important to talk to your child about bullying and stress the importance of violence being wrong and the importance of stopping violence before it escalates into something worse than bullying. Most of the time, with grown-up intervention, bullying can be prevented. And if it can’t, there are police officers, peace bonds and other issues that can be taken up with the court to stop violence that has gone beyond bullying.

Many children do not report bullying. They may be afraid of the bully. They may be afraid of things only getting worse if the bully knows they “told on” him or her. They may also try to protect their parents from being worried or they may feel their parents will think it’s their fault and they brought it on themselves. Children may also feel that even if they report the situation, it won’t change, so why bother. And do you blame them? We see so many shows on television where grown up bullies are out to get a person and no matter what that person does, the bully still shows up and still goes on bullying. If grown-ups can’t get away from bullies in the movies, why should our children believe they can get away from bullies?

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